Empowerment | Me & my life | Mental health | relationships

A note to myself

By on April 29, 2018

Hi, hello. Once again, it’s been nearly two months since I last wrote my previous blog post; and personally, I feel like it’s two months too long. I have been meaning to get back into the swing of blogging for a while now, but I feel like before I do, there’s some things that need updating and need addressing.

So bare with me in this post. I want to make this as mentally healing for me, and it may be for you reading this. I want it to be pure, from the heart, and just genuine. No ‘beating around the bush,’ just purely reality.

For starters, I haven’t been in the best place recently and in the best head space. In all honesty, I have spent the best part of a month feeling marginalised and isolated- which is no one’s fault, but my own. Well, not exactly a ‘fault’ more like a ripple effect of my anxious behaviour recently. I have struggled with friendships, maintaining friendships and overall, getting to grips with the reality of everyone’s perceptions regarding myself. I have spent more time hating myself, rather than the opposite. And that needs to change.

I have touched on my blog previously about how I handle friendships, and people in my life in general. And one thing I’ve forgotten recently is how to embrace me. I need to stop being apologetic for who I am, and start embracing what I am. I’m human, with feelings, emotions, and someone who when it comes down to it, cares… a lot. That’s not a flaw, rather something that needs to be shown. Ultimately, my friends are my friends because of who I am. And that goes for everyone. You know yourself if you’re a part of a healthy relationship, or a toxic one. Take a healthy friendship for example; they’re some of the best human relationships around and should be kept.

I also recently had a friend who drifted back into my life, just at a time when I was at my lowest points. At a time where I felt like I had no one. I was empty, lost, and confused. But nevertheless, I went for it and it was one of the best things I’ve done this year. Because although there may be a lot of rebuilding that needs to be done, I am excited and optimistic about having someone else important in my life. And although I may make out like I don’t feel, the reality is that I cherish friendships. And this one is definitely staying cherished.

As for my career, I don’t think I give myself enough credit for how far I have come in the past year. I went from being in a crappy part-time job where I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough, to finding an okay job where I feel comfortable. I literally speak to strangers constantly day in and day out, and despite having crippling social anxiety only two years ago; I can sit here and say I did it. Of course there are days where I don’t feel like speaking to anyone, and from time to time I do still suffer from panic attacks in public. But I’ve pushed myself and reached limits I never believed would ever be achievable.

But that isn’t the best bit. I recently scored (yes, I just said scored!) an apprenticeship in a sector that I genuinely love and have done before I could remember. Meet a new ‘budding’ digital marketer. I finally became in control of my career and life… and just went for it. And, here I am. If you take anything away from this blog post, it would be to take risks as daunting and as terrifying as they may seem. I was reluctant to even apply, but despite being so down about not knowing what I want to do with my life over the past three years, I finally do and I couldn’t be anymore excited.

And as for relationships, I’m pretty damn proud of myself for knowing what I deserve and never settling for anything less than that. I’ve found that looking after myself is key, and toxic people can come in all shapes and forms. I’m proud of myself for not letting the fact that I was cheated on in the past control my future perceptions of someone else. I’m proud of myself for being confident enough to say- this is me, and if you don’t want that then jog on. I will not be apologetic for what I look like, how I act or what quirkiness I have because someone will appreciate that someday. I have spent too much of my life comparing myself to others and thinking “no one will ever love me,” because realistically, we all want to be loved for who we are.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life

I have something to explain…

By on March 4, 2018

So, it’s been a long time since I last posted on here; so naturally, there is a lot to update on. If you’re not familiar with my blog, or my writing, you may not know that my blog is a positive, safe environment for myself to write my thoughts. To express myself. And to talk about certain topics I wouldn’t normally feel comfortable in talking about.

Nevertheless, I have been gone for a while. Duh. However, I’ve felt like a part of me has been missing for a while. And it’s this blog. So, like any other good ol’ blog post, I’m going to use this space to rant, express, and just update you on what has been going on.

For starters, my mental health took a turn for the worst. I know a lot of people talk about it (yas, we NEED to educate!), and yes, I know it can get repetitive. But I don’t want to hide the facts. I’ve felt extremely alone, tired, marginalised and it’s made me physically ill. Certain situations have occurred that I won’t go in to, and it’s made me have to take a step back. Honestly, it’s been challenging. I’m physically scared about ending up back in the place I was 2 years ago. I’ve been scared to tell anyone about it so I can avoid judgement. It’s been tough, but here I am.

I also forgot to mention that I am in the process of writing my first book. At the start of this year, I made it my main goal to publish my book by the end of this year, and to have all my thoughts, feelings, and emotions to be heard by everyone else. Normally I keep my feelings quite private, but there’s something vulnerable and empowering about sharing my life and my head space with everyone else. From boys, to relationships, to mental health, to empowerment in general. I’m finally becoming proud of my writing, and my quirky personality trait of being able to deeply feel.

Talking of boys, I always like to do a mini section on my blog about what’s going on in that area of my life. If you have read my blog before, you will know that I went through a hard break up nearly 2 years ago, and this blog helped the healing process. I don’t think I ever told you how empowering it felt to totally be over someone, and a situation after so long. About 6 months ago, I realised that those who truly want you in their life will never put themselves in a position to loose you. And I’ve had that countess amount of times. Which leads me onto where I am now.

I am still single, and I have always liked it that way. Even though I like to make out that I’m emotionless, heartless, and don’t feel for anyone… the reality is, I am the total opposite to all of those factors. I do feel. A lot. And that’s why it makes it so hard when it comes to boys & relationships. Yes, I’m extremely cautious. Ultimately, I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t want another relationship or encounter, to be tossed aside at the end of it and have mind games in between. I simply know what I deserve now, however. And I never like to settle for anything less than that. But at the same time, I need tor realise that there is nothing wrong with feeling emotion for someone else. Because naturally, I make out that none of it matters, when it really does… to me.

I am really good at hiding my feelings. Or at least I think I am. I could really like someone, and I could act like the total opposite. Now, me liking someone is rare as it is. In all honesty, I normally talk to someone for a matter of days, and if I don’t feel in my gut that it’s right, I call it off straight away. And that has been true of pretty much every boy encounter that I’ve had in the past year and a half. I suck when it comes to boys. I am picky, but I also don’t like to settle for second best. It’s not fair on them, or me. But ultimately, I could like you; and then friend zone you right back. It’s like it’s a natural instinct of mine to stop people getting so close to me. And I hurt myself in the process. I like to think I’m confident enough to make the first move, and a good 7 out of 10 times I do. But there’s always those extra 3 situations in which I can’t do it. I’m scared of judgement ultimately, and I think that’s also due to a lack of self confidence. I don’t see myself as anything unique, or special. Rather, as someone that no one would ever want to see in that way. I’m strong, but I’m also vulnerable. And that’s my vulnerable side.

When it comes to friendships, I have begun to realise that I’m better on my own at times. I have a group of amazing friends who I value as individuals, and I like to keep it small and close knit. Anyone else who takes advantage of me, or who isn’t a healthy part of my life anymore will have to stay outside that circle. And as much as that upsets me as I love having people I’m close to, I know it has to be done for my own mind, and for me as a person.

Once again, I know and understand this was a long and rambled post. But would I be me if I did anything less? I’m hoping to post more on here again as I grow mentally stronger, and conquer everything that’s going on at the moment. But in the meantime, I also have a YouTube channel that you can check out if ‘ya like.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Me & my life | relationships

A chatty post / relationships and apologies

By on September 28, 2017

Don’t ask me why I’m writing this at eleven o’clock at night, not even I’m entirely sure, but hey ho; here I am. In times of confusion when I can’t work out my feelings, or what is right or wrong for me, I normally take to writing to just splurge everything and hope for the best. And that’s kind of what this is.

I have never been good with ‘romantic’ relationships. Perusing them, sticking to them, that kind of thing. I’ve never been good with having feelings, and admitting to those feelings. I don’t know if that’s because I subconsciously see it as a sign of weakness, or if I am just so confused in everything that goes on in my brain that I simply don’t know. And that’s what this is. A state of confusion. And then realisation.

Something came over me today, and it’s something that I have been hiding from myself for a while. A lot of things have changed in my life over the past year and a half. I’ve lost contact with friends who I thought I would be friends with for life, I’ve dealt with a break-up (you’ve seen all the blog posts, if you know… you know), and I’ve become friends with people who I never imagined to be friends with a year ago. But just because you don’t see people as often, or just because certain people in your life aren’t around anymore; it doesn’t mean that you stop loving them.

I’m the sort of person who doesn’t live in a cloud of hatred, I just couldn’t. No matter how toxic you were to me, or no matter how upset you made me; I can’t ever hate anyone, because it’s simply not in my persona. It’s coming to the realisation that you can still love people, but it doesn’t mean that you need them in your life. No matter if that’s friends, family, or exes. Whatever. Are you still on track with how I’m thinking? Good.

Now onto my next point. Apologies. I don’t know if it’s because I live my life with the mindset of forgiveness and not holding onto grudges, but I feel so gullible when it comes to this. Or at least used to. I’ve had a long think with myself. Over how many apologies I’ve been issued, and over how many actually were genuine. If you apologise, and then continue to hurt, mock, not live up to your promises, then I’d rather you just never said anything at all. I’ve decided now that apologies are accepted, when they are lived up to. I can’t deal with anymore lies, and quite frankly; I won’t let my mind take it anymore. Either you apologise and grow, or you don’t apologise at all.

I’m sick of lying to myself regarding feelings. As much as I try to tell myself I don’t want one, I feel mentally ready for a relationship; yet I push anyone away who comes close. And maybe that’s my problem. I shouldn’t be so scared to open my heart up to people who are willing to do the same, and I certainly shouldn’t be scared of letting anyone to get to know me for once. I’ve always been me, and I always will be. It just takes one person to accept, love, and cherish that just like I’ve done to someone before.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Me & my life | relationships

Foreign concepts

By on May 17, 2017

I have recently become so wrapped up in my emotions at the moment to the point where I find it hard to get myself out of them. The kind of overthinking that leads you to believe that maybe you’re not good enough, or you’re not ‘pretty’ enough, or that the whole concept of someone loving you must be completely bizarre and foreign.

Being wrapped up in your emotions can also lead to confusion. I hate it when people’s perception of me or past experiences influence on the way I see myself. I don’t like being alienated by another person who clearly isn’t worthy of being or belonging in my life. But sometimes I fall into that trap. I look at myself and fail to recognise who I am. I want to be strong, and deep down I am strong; but occasionally I loose faith in that part of myself.

I have mentioned this time and time again on here, but I cannot express enough how much I suck when it comes to boys. I don’t talk to many people with the fear of getting hurt. Upon reflecting on a recent encounter, I suddenly realised how terrified I am of letting myself give my all to someone. Someone can take every part of you, and in an instant destroy you. You can finally let your walls down, for them to make you realise why you keep them up in the first place and that petrifies me to the core.

I don’t normally admit when I like someone, nor do I like giving in to my emotions. I am naturally stubborn, and I naturally have that ‘if you don’t want to talk to me, then I don’t want to talk to you’ attitude. But occasionally, just occasionally, someone can come along which makes everything seem worthwhile. For you to think, ‘maybe they are worth a shot.’ Until you realise why you don’t take shots in the first place- and you go back to square one again. Trying to find happiness, independence and comfort in your own single circle.

I guess the whole point of this post is to confess to myself that I am really feeling what I’m feeling. I’ve been in denial for a long time that my past experiences haven’t played a part on my current emotions, when in reality they have and it’s scary. Maybe not being loved is my own foreign concept- as much as I like to deny the fact that’s not what I want in life… but when it comes down to it, we all long to be loved. It petrifies me that someone may not see me for who I am and like that. I’m dorky. I say weird shit sometimes. I’m loud. I have the worst laugh on earth. My eyes squint a lot and my stomach has a weird ass stitch going up it. Accepting my flaws has become one way in which I have learnt to accept myself… but sometimes, just sometimes, someone else accepting those small and quirky qualities is a bonus too.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Me & my life | Uncategorized

Relationships: An update

By on April 19, 2017

Okay, maybe I should’ve renamed the title ‘an update of my single life,’ but why not throw in a bit of imagination… right?

The fact is, yes I’m still single, and yes I’m still happy blogging about it. But I’ve recently been thinking about how I deal with being single, rather than how it feels.

I’m one of those’ singles who actually likes it. I like my alone time as it is, so being single is like second nature to me. No, that’s not sarcastic as much as it sounded. Rather, I find it rewarding. A way in which I can find out more about myself, before anyone else finds out those parts of me. A space for me to grow, before I have the opportunity to grow with someone else.

But how do I deal with being single? Honestly, not very well. I’m ‘that’ single (yes, I used that phrase again), that would rather act like they don’t care. Someone of the opposite sex showing any type of interest in me? I shut them off. Someone of the opposite sex tries to make effort with me? I shut them off even more. I don’t know if it’s because I’m stubborn, afraid of feelings, would rather be ‘sassy’ like I don’t care; or a mix of all three.

I don’t know if I’ve developed feelings for anyone anymore because I am so used to getting let down. I hate letting my walls down for someone, so I simply don’t do it anymore. I make life hard work, for myself and for the other person, that in the end it just simply isn’t worth it. I’m too stubborn for my own good sometimes, and really don’t take feelings or anything seriously anymore. That may have something to do with past experiences (*cough, cough*), but hey, my life motto at the moment seems to go something like, “Who knows?”

When the right person comes along, and puts up with my stubborn behaviour, then great. Maybe it’s meant to be. Maybe I’m playing a game that isn’t fair, or maybe I’m simply playing myself out of potential relationships. Who knows? I guess I’ll update you if anything interesting happens; but until then, here’s to being stubborn and being single. Maybe I’ll change one day for someone who deserves it.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | Uncategorized

Why I hate modern day dating

By on March 25, 2017

It’s been a while since I have done a ‘relationships’ themed blog post, but something has been stuck on my mind on repeat for a few weeks now which has to have it’s own escape.

It’s no secret that I suck when it comes to boys. I don’t know if it’s because I’m so stubborn that I would rather ‘keep myself to myself’ rather than let a boy even talk to me, or because I simply don’t believe anyone could be genuinely interested in me.

But you know, on them odd occasions where I do let someone in, the whole dating / texting thing annoys the shit out of me. All the games. How nothing is as simple as, “Hey, want to go for coffee sometime?” I like straight to the point. I like people who show interest because I always think the opposite.

Sure, the chase is fun. I like being able to chase someone, and have someone chase me. Dating is a game at the end of the day, but do I really want to play it? The fact that it is almost ‘forbidden’ to text someone back straight away because you’re seen as ‘too keen.’ Nah, I just happened to have my phone on me at the time. Just like if I don’t text you back after 3 hours, I was probably busy living my life.

Everything is so casual. It takes a lot for me to admit I like someone in that way (mainly because I’m too independent and stubborn for my own good), but when I do- it’s just another game. God forbid you text someone for weeks on end and you’re not allowed to have feelings. God forbid that you spend your time on texting someone, when at the end of it all, you’re the ‘crazy’ one for catching feelings- because it’s just harmless fun, right? It feels like dating is a mockery and it utterly angers me how people are shamed so much.

Look at break-ups for example. I seemed to have ‘forgotten’ that even though I got cheated on and hurt, I can’t actually show any emotion. I mean why do people hurt after break-ups anyway- just move on. Lol. That was clearly sarcastic, but you get my point. Let yourself fucking hurt, and then let yourself heal into a better person. And I am not ashamed that I have done just that. So fuck you to anyone who watched me hurt and rolled their eyes. Who cares? We’re all just emotionless robots, aren’t we? *rolls eyes.*

Well, it inspired this blog so there’s that.

And I guess that’s why I hate dating / talking / texting / anything relationship orientated. I . just . can’t . do . it . The pathetic games, the laughs when you get hurt. It all doesn’t seem worth it to loose myself in the process. Maybe I’m too stubborn. Maybe I’ll die single. But I’d rather be single then be caught up in constant games.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Me & my life | Mental health | Uncategorized

Am I ashamed?

By on March 22, 2017

I really should be sleeping instead of writing this blog post as I have work early tomorrow morning (oops), however I felt so inspired so decided to grab my laptop quick and write about something that has been bugging me for a while. I never knew how to express this ‘thing that’s been bugging me’ until now, and in some ways I still don’t. This post will have no structure whatsoever, but there’s some things that I desperately need to get off my chest for my own sake. So here it goes (warning: there may be a bit of rambling, but who doesn’t love a good ol’ rambled post, eh?)

A lot of things have changed drastically in my life over the past couple of months or so, and things still seem to be rapidly changing as we speak. From friends, to what I do in my free time, to handling my mental health, even to me as a person. I don’t take well to change, which I guess is why I feel so encouraged in myself to write this blog post.

You see, one thing I seem to ask myself a lot is if I’m ashamed in myself. If I deserve to beat myself up over certain things, if I made the right decisions. Obviously with having generalised anxiety, it makes the whole process of figuring this out a lot harder, but I finally came to a conclusion. I live my life for myself with the intention of also putting others first unless it is toxic to me. If something is making me feel sad, or uncomfortable, or just doesn’t feel right anymore; then I have to stop beating myself up over making decisions for myself. Sometimes it doesn’t make me selfish, rather stop me from self destroying.

And then I think about the person I am becoming, and the choices I’ve made. You see, the things is, I always try to make the best decision and put others first. But that realistically is not always going to happen. I’ve said this before, but I have to make myself make mistakes sometimes so I can learn from them; and most importantly, grow.

And that’s another thing I want to address in this post, I am 18 years old. I am by no means experienced in anything in life, nor do I claim to be. I suck at relationships, and break-ups and talking to boys in general; but that’s because I’m still yet to grow. I make immature decisions and look back on them and think, “Really Becca? So mature.” But I’m growing. – And I’m not using this whole ‘growth’ thing as some sort of excuse either. That’s the beauty about living, is watching yourself grow due to your past self.

At the end of the day, I am not going to be exactly the same now as the person I’ll be in 10 years. Nor am I  exactly the same as I was even a year ago. I am developing for the better every day, and I want to work hard to get to who I want to be. I want to make people proud, and make myself proud. I don’t want to make the same mistakes I’ve made in the past. I want to look back on this blog post in 10-30 years and think, “I did it.”

So, going back to the question at the start of this post. Am I ashamed? In myself? In who I am? In who I’m becoming? Not at all. Because to me, being ashamed is looking at myself in a negative light. I don’t want to move backwards, rather forwards. I want to make a positive impact on myself, and those around me. I want to always do better, and be better. And for the majority of the past year, I’ve done just that. But everything takes time, and sometimes we just need to be patient with ourselves.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Me & my life | Uncategorized

A build up of everything

By on March 4, 2017

Something kind of just popped in my brain. Like something in which I have been hiding away for so long suddenly made sense. As to why I feel things that I wish I didn’t feel. As to why certain emotions have led me to do things that is out of character. As to why I should sometimes listen to my emotions.

A few months ago, I thought that the solution to feeling hurt, upset and total emotion was to just bottle everything up and act like it simply wasn’t there. I actually didn’t give myself time to hurt, or recover from hurt, and it just caused my emotions to build up more and more. At the time, I never really realised this, but now I have realised that listening to myself and my own mind is healthiest.

The fact is, we all hurt sometimes. Shit happens. Things happen that cause us to be upset, cry, huddle into a bawl and not want to come out. But sometimes you’ve got to embrace that as odd as it sounds. I never enabled myself to feel that kind of pain because I simply didn’t want to. I kept bandaging it up and hoping for the best, and it’s caused this whole shebang. This whole blog post.

I know this blog post won’t make a lot of sense to some of you reading this right now, and that’s totally okay. I just wanted somewhere to put all my thoughts, feelings, and most importantly emotions without feeling like I was being watched or judged. Because the fact is, I’ve spent the past year of my life feeling like people are watching my every move. Like they’re ready to jump and pounce on me every mistake I make, and as much as that shouldn’t bother me (and for a long time didn’t), I’m human, and it does.

I want to make my own peace with my own self and my own mind. I want to stop acting out in anger and spite, because that simply is not me- or who I aspire to be. Wow that rhymes. Because the fact is, the things that bother us deep down may cause us to do stupid things, and all I can do is apologise; to myself especially. I wanted to make this year the year in which I stuck to my own mind. My own wishes, and lived life for myself. Here’s to listening to my emotions for once without bottling them up, and being the passive person I wan to be.

Stay true to who you are, even if you may waver at times. Those around you know the real you, no matter what mistakes you may make.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | Mental health | Uncategorized

New beginnings

By on February 22, 2017

I have recently said and done some things that I deeply regret. In all honesty, I’ve spent the last 24 hours beating myself up about those things. I’m the sort of person who completely hates drama, or arguments, or anything in between; but I always seem to find myself getting involved in them… head first… at 50 mph without meaning to.

So what am I going to do about it? What am I going to do to try to sort all this out in my own head and give myself some peace for once? I decided to tackle this by writing it all down here, in this blog post. Because the fact of the matter is that I will make mistakes. I will do things that I regret. I’ll sit there and think, “come on Becca, just stop.” I’ll just start again.

I am far from perfect. I don’t ever claim to be, and I don’t ever claim to have everything in check all the time. I don’t think I would be human if I did everything right. I have feelings, and sometimes feelings and emotion can get the better of me (as much as I try not to let it).

I want to leave the past in the past so incredibly much, yet something always seems to happen to bring it back to present day. It’s like something that I can’t seem to get rid of, and it worms it’s way back in. One thing after another. Constantly.

I vowed that 2017 would be a year of new beginnings. Motivation. Practice. Peace. And looking after myself first and foremost for once ! And in most ways, that has been the case. I am incredibly proud and humbled with everything that I have achieved this year already- and I am incredibly proud of being able to acknowledge what, and who, is good or bad for my health.

But like I said, I can’t be in check all the time. If someone claims to be perfect all the time and never admits to making mistakes, don’t believe them. It is a basic human trait. You have to make mistakes, to learn. You have to regret things, to vow never to do them again. You have to mess up sometimes so you can bounce back as a stronger and better you.

I feel like I am constantly screaming over who I am. I feel constantly misunderstood, or judged like people know the background reasoning behind my actions. Why I do things. Why I say things. When in all honesty, I don’t think even I have an explanation regarding some of my actions. If you think you know me, you most probably don’t; even I’m still trying to work that part out. But my mistakes do not make me a bad person. They do not undermine the fundamental factors about myself that I seem to want to embrace the most. They do not define me.

I am brave enough to sit here and admit to my mistakes. To look back at actions that I regret and realise why I messed up that one time. But here’s to new beginnings. Here’s to my new job, my new friends, starting the gym. Here’s to recovery and looking after my own mental health first and foremost. And you know what? Here’s to embracing who I am; despite all my mistakes. Because I’m human, and I’m proud of not claiming otherwise.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Empowerment | Me & my life | Motivation | Uncategorized

A life change

By on February 8, 2017

You are in control of your own life. Your own desires. Your future. Who belongs in your life, and who doesn’t.

I was back thinking again the other day, and I especially reflected on how my life has changed dramatically since this time last year. Some people I was friends with last year, I am no longer friends with; and the people who I am friends with now, I wasn’t friends with a year ago. To me, it’s crazy how drastically things can change and who you thought would stay in your life, simply hasn’t.

I’ve also thought about my own ‘change.’ As much as I am a strong believer that at the end of the day, most people don’t end up totally changing, I’ll call my own transition over the past year or so simply ‘growing up.’ Things have happened, that have made me stronger. My mindset has improved. My outlook on things have improved. I will no longer settle being around people who make me feel less than good enough. (You can read more on this in my post about putting myself first).

I think at the beginning, people saw this transition as shocking and in some ways, that says it all. It was almost like the people who were taking me for granted, suddenly didn’t know what to do. Almost like they couldn’t control me anymore, and I’m so glad I let those people go.

I am an overly sensitive person. I constantly pressure myself to be liked by everyone, when in reality, that simply is impossible. I don’t take people leaving very well, and I certainly haven’t over the past year. But I have begun to slowly realise that those who do not want to be a part of my life, are not worthy of being in my life. That I should start to cherish those more who want to be around me, rather than those who tear me down.

And as for my own personality, I feel like I have almost ‘blossomed.’ The only way I can describe it as is, “I don’t care anymore.” I am me. I am loud. I talk way too much. I ramble and get deep about things that probably don’t need to be talked about. I have strong political views on equality, and life in general, and I like to express that!! (That explanation mark was clearly used as a “take that” to anyone who can’t handle that about me). But you know what?? I am real. I am happy expressing who I am. I don’t want to hide who I am anymore. And if people like me, then that’s great. And if they don’t, then that’s also okay… I am not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and ! that ! is ! fine !

To anyone who knew me a year ago; I am still the same Becca. Just better. Improved. More confident and empowered. The person inside me has not changed. I have just grown and found myself more and more.

To the amazing people who are still around, and still cherish me as a human being, thank you. To anyone who left my life for the better, thank you. It is because of each and every single person in my life (those present now, or those who have left), that I am sat here with the biggest smile on my face writing this. And I can proudly say- this is me.

I also made a YouTube video discussing this a bit more in detail if you are interested. Thank you for reading / watching. Enjoy.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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