Empowerment | Feminism | Me & my life | Uncategorized

Womanhood

By on March 18, 2017


I have recently had a feeling of empowerment and confidence, and felt like it has to be written down somewhere. Aka here. You see, I love being a woman. Sure, there are things that suck such as periods, and annoying boobs, and just woman-ly things in general. But honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a woman, and I came to the conclusion that it is unique for every individual. I love being a woman because it makes me feel empowered, and confident. I like the idea of being a ‘strong woman,’ and a fearless woman, and a woman with ambitions and dreams. I like being a woman who finds confidence within her own self, rather than relying on men all the time (although that’s okay too- like I said, personal to each individual).

I like the idea of being a woman, and being me. At the end of the day I know that I am not defined by my gender as each individual is different, but I love embracing womanhood. I love talking about girl power, and bringing up other women, and the whole concept which surrounds our whole gender.

I have recently become engrossed in ‘Kehlani’s’ new album recently, in which she highlights the concept of womanhood and love in her ‘Intro’ which is taken from a poet called,  Reyna Biddy. I have taken some of my most favourite lyrics from this piece, and put them below so you have a better understanding of what I’m talking about:

I’m afraid you’re under the impression
That I was made to please you
I was under the impression you understood me better
The truth is, I’m a superwoman
And some days I’m an angry woman
And some days I’m a crazy woman
For still waiting, for still loving harder even if I’m aching
For still trusting that I’m still worth the most
For still searching for someone to understand me better.

I find the lyrics so incredibly empowering and eye-opening, and it just brought me back to what makes me feel mot alive and like a woman. The idea of longing for love and understanding, yet not mixing that up with the ambition to please anyone.

Because the fact is, I am writing this post feeling extremely strong, liberated and free minded. I feel like as a woman, as me, I can conquer anything. I can achieve my goals. I can work on myself and be a better woman and person. I can be independent, and sexy, and strong minded. I can be me and feel comfortable in who I am.

Here’s to womanhood, confidence, liberation and us.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Empowerment | Me & my life | Motivation | Uncategorized

A life change

By on February 8, 2017


You are in control of your own life. Your own desires. Your future. Who belongs in your life, and who doesn’t.

I was back thinking again the other day, and I especially reflected on how my life has changed dramatically since this time last year. Some people I was friends with last year, I am no longer friends with; and the people who I am friends with now, I wasn’t friends with a year ago. To me, it’s crazy how drastically things can change and who you thought would stay in your life, simply hasn’t.

I’ve also thought about my own ‘change.’ As much as I am a strong believer that at the end of the day, most people don’t end up totally changing, I’ll call my own transition over the past year or so simply ‘growing up.’ Things have happened, that have made me stronger. My mindset has improved. My outlook on things have improved. I will no longer settle being around people who make me feel less than good enough. (You can read more on this in my post about putting myself first).

I think at the beginning, people saw this transition as shocking and in some ways, that says it all. It was almost like the people who were taking me for granted, suddenly didn’t know what to do. Almost like they couldn’t control me anymore, and I’m so glad I let those people go.

I am an overly sensitive person. I constantly pressure myself to be liked by everyone, when in reality, that simply is impossible. I don’t take people leaving very well, and I certainly haven’t over the past year. But I have begun to slowly realise that those who do not want to be a part of my life, are not worthy of being in my life. That I should start to cherish those more who want to be around me, rather than those who tear me down.

And as for my own personality, I feel like I have almost ‘blossomed.’ The only way I can describe it as is, “I don’t care anymore.” I am me. I am loud. I talk way too much. I ramble and get deep about things that probably don’t need to be talked about. I have strong political views on equality, and life in general, and I like to express that!! (That explanation mark was clearly used as a “take that” to anyone who can’t handle that about me). But you know what?? I am real. I am happy expressing who I am. I don’t want to hide who I am anymore. And if people like me, then that’s great. And if they don’t, then that’s also okay… I am not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and ! that ! is ! fine !

To anyone who knew me a year ago; I am still the same Becca. Just better. Improved. More confident and empowered. The person inside me has not changed. I have just grown and found myself more and more.

To the amazing people who are still around, and still cherish me as a human being, thank you. To anyone who left my life for the better, thank you. It is because of each and every single person in my life (those present now, or those who have left), that I am sat here with the biggest smile on my face writing this. And I can proudly say- this is me.

I also made a YouTube video discussing this a bit more in detail if you are interested. Thank you for reading / watching. Enjoy.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Empowerment | Feminism | General blog posts | Uncategorized

'A strong, independent woman.'

By on January 28, 2017


Okay so it’s nearly 12am and it’s been a while since I have plucked up a sudden ‘urge’ to write a blog post over something that makes my mind bounce and my heart flutter. When I get a sudden rush of writing inspiration, I normally get all weird inside and it’s like my thoughts run at 100 miles per hour so bare with me on this one.

Ladies, here’s a thought for you. A thought that people seem to mention all the time, but which has actually stuck with me tonight. Do not, EVER, let a man define your worth. Never. If a man is unable to cherish and appreciate you for who you are, then that’s his loss. Obviously, this applies to anyone in life, just like a man never letting a woman define his worth, but I’m talking about this in relation to something that’s been whirling round in my life.

I could’ve easily have let someone define my worth a long time ago. In fact, I touched on this in my ‘A conclusion’ post. But I am so incredibly glad that I didn’t make that mistake. And I am so incredibly glad that I am strong enough in myself to turn round and say, “You know what? That wasn’t what I needed.”

Because a person’s actions against you, does not define you. Have confidence in your own self to know what you deserve, and it should be nothing but the best.

You don’t find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man who’s worthy of you. Remember that.

I feel like I’m going on a ‘women independence’ tangent right now, but I feel like this has to be reflected upon. I am so fortunate to have the mindset of independence and empowerment. To be strong enough to not let a man rule me, my life or my emotions. To know that being single can still be one of the best things. Because I don’t need anyone, and I never have. Wanting, and needing are two totally different things.

So, to whoever took me for granted, good effort. Thank you for making me feel more empowered, confident, independent and strong than I have ever felt in my life. Thank you for filling me with the courage to do better, and be better. And thank you for making me my own worth- which is certainly not shaped by your actions.

Stay fearless.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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body positivity | Empowerment | Uncategorized

A competitive life

By on January 14, 2017


I have been thinking a lot about outward appearances and just appearances in general a lot lately. I don’t know if I’m the only one who does this, but do you ever look around you and think, “I wish I looked like that?” Obviously these aren’t healthy thoughts, but I often get drawn into thinking them every now and again.

It feels like society in general is a competition over appearances. You know, having to look a certain way in order to make the cut to be a model, or to look like the perfect ‘star.’ It really is pressure, and as much as people seem to address this issue, I want to address it in my own way.

The fact is, in some shape or form, society has been like this for years. I think the trick is learning to feel comfortable in accepting your own appearance however. As much as I am becoming confident in how I look, I do still often compare myself to even my own best friends. It’s like I don’t feel like I ‘fit in’ because I don’t look a certain way. Or I don’t style my clothes like they do. Or because I wear glasses, and genuinely can’t wear contact lenses because there’s not one suitably fitted to cater for my eyes (as far as I know of anyway).

But when you think about it, beauty really does come in many forms, shapes and sizes. Maybe the only person we should compete with is ourselves and setting our own goals to strive for. You see, I hate getting bogged down about my appearance, just like a lot of other people probably do. It’s definitely a daily struggle, one in which I wish so many people didn’t have to deal with.

In a lot of these posts, I normally end it with a plea to go out and compliment at least one person when, and if, possible. Even if it’s just, “I like your hair,” or, “That dress is cute! Where’s it from?” Beauty shouldn’t be a competition, but a joint effort of empowerment. Of letting down our own pride, and giving someone else a reason to feel good. A little can go a long way.

Flaunt that perfect lil ass of yours because you deserve it.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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body positivity | Empowerment | Me & my life | Uncategorized

Putting yourself first

By on January 7, 2017


So this is going to be another one of those blog posts that are completely jumbled and is just all my emotions blurted into one rambling piece of writing while my eyes are hurting from being so tired and drained. But nevertheless, here it goes.

I recently vowed to myself that I would not settle for anything less than I deserve. I probably spend the majority of 2016 being messed about by people who simply didn’t deserve my time, effort, or even myself. I don’t care if it’s a boy, friend, cat or goldfish- I won’t expose myself to the amount of hurt that I have endured previously.

I think it’s so liberating when you finally know you’re own worth. It’s like the whole feeling of, “wow. You know what? I do deserve better.” As someone who used to beat herself up over people constantly hating her, it is the most amazing feeling knowing that I won’t settle for something I’m simply not happy with.

I am dedicating myself to me, and to the people around me whom I love and cherish the most. It’s not in a selfish way, but sometimes, that’s the most important. I say it all the time (I know!), but you are your own longest commitment. Look after yourself and your own feelings. Don’t spend your life around people who make you feel less than you should.

I guess a lot of these thoughts and feelings lead onto the subject of boys, and relationship in general. Okay we gathered, I suck at all that kind of stuff, but I’m not going to spend my time on a boy, or anyone for that matter, who won’t make the effort to come and see me. Who won’t give back as much effort as I am putting in. I have learnt the hard way that it’s just not worth it. I would rather be single than be with someone who makes me feel any less than how I should feel.

I look back at what I’ve just wrote with utter astonishment, in a good sort of way. This time last year, I would have never felt as confident in myself and what I’m worth as I do now. I am a human, and I deserve to be loved and cherished like one just as I give back. Don’t spend your time giving 100% to someone when you’re getting 50% back. Yes, i know, I did say this would be a rambled post.

Confidence in yourself is empowering and liberating and utterly amazing. Don’t ever confuse it for being vain, rather knowing you’re own worth.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Feminism | Uncategorized

Why 'girl power' is so important

By on December 10, 2016


Girl power. We seem to talk about this idea a lot. I actually bought a top which says ‘power to the girls’ and it got me thinking a lot about girl power in general.

The phrase “girl power” is used as a term of empowerment, independence, and self-sureness. Girl power expressed a cultural phenomenon of the 1990s and early 2000s. It is also linked to third-wave feminism. The term was made popular by the Spice Girls in the mid-to-late 1990s.

When I think about ‘girl power,’ the idea of empowerment and confidence seems to spring to mind. Girl power is all about unity of women in order to bring about a shared sense of empowerment. It is not a term created to imply that women want to be ‘more powerful’ than men, or vice versa.

I am happy promoting girl power because it is fundamentally important. We live in a world full of such judgement, weather that’s based on our appearance, personality, sexuality, beliefs or anything in between. Girl Power is about bringing one another up, rather than tearing each other down.

 

It deeply upsets me when I see girls speak low of another female. It’s almost as if girls compete against each other in order to bring their own self esteem up. And it’s not healthy. Girl Power is about improving the confidence of women- instead of commenting negatively on another woman’s appearance, why not compliment her for something she deserves to be complimented on instead?

Here’s to Girl Power. Here’s to empowerment. Here’s to confidence, and here’s to equality for all.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Empowerment | General blog posts | Me & my life | Uncategorized

This is me.

By on October 29, 2016


So I have a confession, yes a confession. Who I am is something which I reflect upon a lot and is something I’ve alluded to in a lot of my previous blog posts. Honestly, I seem to beat myself up for who I am all the time, and it’s not fair on myself. Rather, I should just learn to embrace my quirkiness and not give myself such a hard time constantly.

I’m the sort of person that is naturally annoying. I really dislike that about myself, and get so incredibly paranoid over ‘being annoying’ and ‘unwanted.’ I think it’s because I constantly got told it all the time at one particular stage in my life, and it’s just stuck with me. Regardless of what anyone else says, I still believe I am the most annoying person on this planet…. but hey ho we all move on.

I’m the sort of person who would stay up until 2am to check you were okay. The sort of person who puts their own self on the line for the benefit of others. I guess that can be a bad thing for my own mental health, but regardless I like to put others first.

I’m the sort of person who thinks too much about the world, and life in general. That’s mainly why I created my blog. I’m an avid thinker. I spend my life thinking, reflecting learning. I write about my thoughts as a way to express everything that’s going on rapidly in my brain. I think about my friends, who I’ve loved, who I’ve lost. The past, the present, the future. People’s perceptions of me, my perception of myself, everything you can think of.

I’m the sort of person who hurts immensely at the idea of loss. As someone who thrives off surrounding herself with people, it suddenly hits me when someone leaves my life. I honestly don’t take it well, and I’ll probably continue to think about particular losses of my life in years to come. I suddenly think that loss is a reflection of who I am, and what everyone dislikes in me.

I’m the sort of person who would write about you. Yes, I have a notebook full of about fifty irrelevant poems which shapes whatever is floating round in my head at the time. Love, loss, heartbreak, and back to love again. My ‘journal’ and poems are a collection of me. A collection of everything I can’t express verbally so I write it in the form of poetry. There are so many poems I wish that I could send to whoever they’re about, or publish in general, but I probably never will. Nevertheless, it’s how I heal and it works.

I’m the sort of person who gets so wrapped up in things, and if I’m passionate about something; oh gosh, I’m passionate. For example, music. I could sit and talk for hours about how each chord and backing instrument adds to the feel of a musical piece and how excited I get over it. I also get excited over the smallest things. Whether that’s looking up at the sky, someone complimenting me, or even nature. It may sound so ‘stupid,’ but it’s true.

I’m the sort of person who would just laugh for no reason. I constantly burst out into laughter for no apparent reason, and it scares everyone around me to be honest. They just don’t understand why it happens, and neither do I. I laugh a lot, and happiness is a fundamental part of my life. I hurt, I laugh. I dance, I laugh. I’m sat with my friends, and I laugh. Just live, feel alive, and laughter is the best reflection of that.

And last but not least, I’m me. I figure that this post was partly written to free myself. To write all these qualities about myself that makes me human, and tell myself that it’s totally okay. As someone who used to hate themselves and everything about them so much, I’ve grown to realise that hey, I’m me and that’s all that matters. I have my own unique space in this world, I’ll reach my ambitions and I’ll just be whoever I’m destined to be. Honestly, I just want to be loved for who I am. As deep as it sounds, I think everyone does. I’m quite a hard person to figure out. I’m quite stubborn, I’m quite independent, but I’m also quite sensitive and positive. I don’t blog about ‘preachy things’ because I want to be some sort of inspirational speaker. I do it because sometimes I need to remind myself of my own worth when I feel as though I have none.

I just want to be accepted for me.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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body positivity | Empowerment | Uncategorized

You're allowed to feel confident

By on October 19, 2016


Since when was it seen as a bad thing to love your own body? It’s like we frown down on people who aren’t confident by telling them to “lighten up,” and then we say “hold up. You can’t be that confident.” Confidence does not have boundaries, and it shouldn’t be frowned upon.

I can quite comfortably sit here and say I’m comfortable in my own body at the moment. I can sit here and say that it’s taken a long time for me to accept my appearance, but now that I have I feel so incredibly liberated. The thing is, that doesn’t make me ‘self absorbed’ and we should stop using that label in conjunction with confidence.

You’re allowed to sit there and say, “You know what? I look pretty good today.” If you feel confident, flaunt it. Shout about it. Write it. It’s one of them pretty amazing feelings in which it can take a long time to achieve, but when it is achieved, it’s one of the most powerful feelings you can endure.

There is a clear difference between being confident, and being self absorbed.

Confidence: the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something. (Ie being confident and accepting in ones own physical or overall appearance).

Self absorbed: Self absorption is defined as caring only about one’s own self and one’s own activities and not showing interest in the rest of the world.

It’s quite liberating for me to be able to go out now and feel comfortable in what I’m wearing and essentially, how I look but it definitely doesn’t happen over night. One of the key things I had to tell myself when finding my own confidence was that it’s okay if I look unique or don’t fit in with the socially constructed view of ‘beauty.’ I am me. And my appearance is my appearance. Why shame and ridicule me for something I simply cannot change? We were all born unique, so it’s time we all accepted embracement.

I’m not just someone sat behind a computer screen preaching and saying “You should be confident!!” because that’s not how it works. It can’t possibly work like that as soon as someone clicks their fingers. But if you have a day where you feel even a little bit confidence, embrace that. Show the world what you have to offer and take no shame in it.

Confidence and self love is important to me because it helps keep me going. I got to a point where I was beating myself up over my appearance so much that it simply wasn’t healthy. Sometimes it’s beneficial for your own health to sit there and point out even two things you kinda like about yourself. Or two things that makes you, you. I don’t know many other people who are blind in one eye and were born with their stomach inside out like I was. I hate my scar on my stomach, but at the same time… that’s me.

I have no shame in sitting here and declaring my confidence in my own appearance. I’m not saying I’m the prettiest dime in the box, because I’m far from it. But I still value my appearance and accept that I simply am who I am. Whether that’s in my appearance or my personality.

Confidence is healthy and powerful for the mind, and I shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed for being confident. It’s not being big headed, or self absorbed. I deserve to accept my own unique beauty (in whatever shape or form that may come in), just like I accept the beauty of others. Because I’m still human, and I deserve to find confidence just like you do too.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Empowerment | Me & my life | Uncategorized

Why I'm happy in being a sensitive person

By on August 17, 2016


After looking at my life and my own personality, I have come to the conclusion that I must be quite a sensitive person. I mean, you could joke about something with me, and I’d most likely think you were telling the truth. Yeah I know, I’m sorry.

I recently read a very eye opening post on why being sensitive may be a good thing. I always wished I wasn’t such a sensitive person, and that it was such an utterly bad trait to have. Sigh, how I wished I was more thick skinned. But I have recently come to the realisation that there can be some good that comes out of being sensitive. Yes, I totally just basically said that I’m happy in being a sensitive person.

I read that sensitive people tend to understand people more. This is because when they get hurt, they know how much it can hurt. They don’t like seeing others in that kind of position because they understand. I feel like this explains me to a T. I tend to put myself in the position of the person who’s hurting and will do anything to make them happy again. Whether that’s dropping everything at 11 at night, or travelling 2 hours to help a friend in need. I thrive off being there for others because I know how it feels to be so alone.

I mean, you can bet that I’d whisk you away on a day trip to the zoo, or to the beach just to make sure you’re okay again. I’m cute like that you see, wink wink.

The same post I read also highlighted the point that highly sensitive people love to go on adventures and are more in tune with nature and the world around them. Considering I always have the need to explore new places, go on adventures, and totally obsess over the sky; this has opened my eyes to the most down to earth facors that can come out of being sensitive. If you want to make me happy, literally take me on an adventure… even if it’s in your back garden to look at the sky. I’d probably love you forever for that, there and then.

Sensitive people are more likely to also have racing minds, with 5,000 thoughts roaming around their head at once. Considering I created this blog to help put all these erratic thoughts into words, I think it’s safe to say that getting deep and opening my eyes to the real world around me may be a good thing.

And finally I’m such an unbelievably ‘needy’ person and I totally hate that. I get very insecure sometimes, okay. Just reassure me that you don’t hate me and you actually mean what you say, and I’ll be all good. I cannot be lied to. That’s the thing about sensitive people, the truth hurts them more than the average person; but they’ll take it better than constant lies.

For some, being sensitive may be a bad trait to have, but for me it’s a blessing in disguise. By being sensitive and having a deeper understanding of things, I am able to continuously remind people how much they mean to me because I understand how it feels. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, because I put myself in their shoes. Maybe that’s what makes me open to getting hurt again, however.

I may be a sensitive person, and it may get on your last nerve. But I’d rather be sensitive and have my eyes so open to the world and people around me than the alternative. I’m happy living my ‘lil sensitive life.

Do you class yourself as quite a sensitive person? Or if not, do you know anyone who is quite sensitive? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment box below!

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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