body positivity | Empowerment | Motivation

Making the most of ‘me’

By on September 4, 2017

Like many other people, I have grown up having my fair share of self-confidence issues. At times, I refused to look myself in the mirror. Or get in pictures with friends. It got to the point where it was so exhausting hating the body that I lived in, but I didn’t see another way out. View this as cliche as you want to, but occasionally these issues do need to be addressed.

So what happened? Did I magically wake up one day and think, “You know what? I actually like the body I live in.” Definitely not. Because the fact is, it took me a long ass time to accept myself.

No matter how many times friends and family members would compliment me, I never saw it. It was literally just words that correlated to no meaning. I was so set on the fact that I was ‘this’ and ‘that,’ and nothing was going to change my point of view.

The key thing that enabled me to gain confidence was patience within myself. We all seem to think that you’ll be ‘told you’re good enough’ and then automatically feel it. It may be easy to believe that it is the sort of thing that changes overnight, but it certainly isn’t. Bit by bit, I picked things about myself that I hated; and spun them into positives.

I realised that I can’t change how I look. And for a while, that was the sad reality of it all. I spent so long wanting to compare myself to others, and sitting in the background because my friends were ‘prettier’ than me and had ‘nicer hair.’ But I’m just me. I’m my own little unique living thing. I wear glasses because I can’t see. And that’s okay. I have naturally big thighs, and that’s okay. Sometimes my hair does this weird thing where it doesn’t want to style, and that’s okay. I have a baby face. I don’t have any stand out features. But the fact of the matter is that I am not the prettiest dime in the box, and I never, and still don’t, aim to be.

There’s a clear difference between obnoxiously loving yourself, and loving yourself in a way of acceptance and confidence. Because I am just me *shrugs.* I’m dorky. I like making people laugh. I like making memories with my best friends. I like travelling. I like embarrassing myself on the internet. I like how yeah I may not have any common sense, but I’m sure as hell not stupid. I like having the ability to be that one person who will make people laugh when the room may feel tense.

For so long, I lived my life beating myself up over something which was completely out of my control. No surgery, make-up, or anything else will change the fundamental qualities of you. Mate, embrace that shit. Embrace the small things. The big things. Even the in-between quirky things. Because I’m sick and tired of seeing people feel less than worthy because standards of beauty or so high nowadays. Or because we’re all expected to act a certain way, rather than simply embracing ! who ! we ! are ! I am not everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t care. The main reasoning behind this post is to acknowledge the fact that I am me. And whoever that ‘me’ is, is okay. Because I’m different. And everyone truly is unique.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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body positivity | Empowerment | Uncategorized

You're allowed to feel confident

By on October 19, 2016

Since when was it seen as a bad thing to love your own body? It’s like we frown down on people who aren’t confident by telling them to “lighten up,” and then we say “hold up. You can’t be that confident.” Confidence does not have boundaries, and it shouldn’t be frowned upon.

I can quite comfortably sit here and say I’m comfortable in my own body at the moment. I can sit here and say that it’s taken a long time for me to accept my appearance, but now that I have I feel so incredibly liberated. The thing is, that doesn’t make me ‘self absorbed’ and we should stop using that label in conjunction with confidence.

You’re allowed to sit there and say, “You know what? I look pretty good today.” If you feel confident, flaunt it. Shout about it. Write it. It’s one of them pretty amazing feelings in which it can take a long time to achieve, but when it is achieved, it’s one of the most powerful feelings you can endure.

There is a clear difference between being confident, and being self absorbed.

Confidence: the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something. (Ie being confident and accepting in ones own physical or overall appearance).

Self absorbed: Self absorption is defined as caring only about one’s own self and one’s own activities and not showing interest in the rest of the world.

It’s quite liberating for me to be able to go out now and feel comfortable in what I’m wearing and essentially, how I look but it definitely doesn’t happen over night. One of the key things I had to tell myself when finding my own confidence was that it’s okay if I look unique or don’t fit in with the socially constructed view of ‘beauty.’ I am me. And my appearance is my appearance. Why shame and ridicule me for something I simply cannot change? We were all born unique, so it’s time we all accepted embracement.

I’m not just someone sat behind a computer screen preaching and saying “You should be confident!!” because that’s not how it works. It can’t possibly work like that as soon as someone clicks their fingers. But if you have a day where you feel even a little bit confidence, embrace that. Show the world what you have to offer and take no shame in it.

Confidence and self love is important to me because it helps keep me going. I got to a point where I was beating myself up over my appearance so much that it simply wasn’t healthy. Sometimes it’s beneficial for your own health to sit there and point out even two things you kinda like about yourself. Or two things that makes you, you. I don’t know many other people who are blind in one eye and were born with their stomach inside out like I was. I hate my scar on my stomach, but at the same time… that’s me.

I have no shame in sitting here and declaring my confidence in my own appearance. I’m not saying I’m the prettiest dime in the box, because I’m far from it. But I still value my appearance and accept that I simply am who I am. Whether that’s in my appearance or my personality.

Confidence is healthy and powerful for the mind, and I shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed for being confident. It’s not being big headed, or self absorbed. I deserve to accept my own unique beauty (in whatever shape or form that may come in), just like I accept the beauty of others. Because I’m still human, and I deserve to find confidence just like you do too.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca


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