I feel like this topic is constantly talked about. Telling people they should “love themselves and their bodies” and “should be comfortable in their own skin.” But like a lot of other things, that’s easier said than done. How do we achieve self love, and how do we know when we’ve achieved self love?
I think it’s good to sometimes explore why it’s important that we love ourselves more. A lot of us have probably beaten ourselves up about one thing or another. Whether that’s regarding our appearance, a personality trait, or something we may have done to others. At the end of the day, cut yourself some slack. Perfection doesn’t exist, so why do we always strive for something that’s false anyway?
Be patient with yourself and use every day as a way of growing up and being better. In order to do this, you have to stop beating yourself up about everything you’re not, and look at everything you are.
For example, I don’t have skinny thighs, or big boobs, or the best face structure. Sure, I’d love all those things. I’d love to not have to turn my head to a weird angle so I can actually see because I’m partially sighted in one eye. I’d love to not make mistakes, and hurt the people I love the most. I’d love to actually be skilled at something and not be so insecure all the time because I have ‘nothing going for me.’ But when that all gets too much, I look at the things I am. I sure as hell cherish everything that means the most to me, meaning that I am kind and compassionate to those I love the most. I actually like the colour of my hair at the moment (I seem to be going more ginger!) I actually like that my personality is centred around being a good person, and I eventually let myself off when I mess up. I actually like my ugly ass scar that runs halfway up my stomach because it makes me different. (Trust me, it is ugly).
It’s so easy to get caught up in all the pressure that surrounds us. As to what kind of human you should be. I hate being sensitive, because I get hurt easily. But being sensitive also means that I have my eyes so open to the world, and I know how to be so compassionate towards others so I don’t hurt people the way I’ve been hurt. See what I mean by turning once personal flaws about yourself into positives?
I’m not saying you’ll be confident all the time. I have times when I get so insecure that I would be quite happy not leaving the house for a week. I still compare myself to others, and I still beat myself up about not being ‘pretty enough’ or a ‘nice enough person.’ It’s okay to feel low sometimes; because it can help to come back with a stronger and more confident mindset.
By no means does loving yourself enough to be confident in yourself mean you’re ‘egotistical’ or ‘big headed’ either. Instead, it’s liberating finding who you are, and achieving everything you want to achieve. Take a moment to think about the things you love about yourself the most. People fail to realise a lot of the time that there is good and beauty in everyone and that includes yourself. Such a cliche phrase I know, but in the nearly 18 years I’ve lived, I’ve found that’s very true.
And why self love is so important? Because at the end of the day, you’re your own longest commitment. When you feel at your lowest, it’s you who has the ability to pick yourself back up again. I have begun to realise that beating myself over things that I can’t change aren’t important to me anymore, and I’m at a point in my life where I’ve never felt so happy. I changed once flaws, into things I love about myself. Thick thighs. Small boobs. Bad eyes- and anything else someone has criticised me for regarding my appearance. They’re all imperfections that I have accepted and are happy living with.
And my most overused personal favourite phrase regarding this topic; hashtag body posiiiii.
Love and happiness always,
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