Like many other people, I have grown up having my fair share of self-confidence issues. At times, I refused to look myself in the mirror. Or get in pictures with friends. It got to the point where it was so exhausting hating the body that I lived in, but I didn’t see another way out. View this as cliche as you want to, but occasionally these issues do need to be addressed.
So what happened? Did I magically wake up one day and think, “You know what? I actually like the body I live in.” Definitely not. Because the fact is, it took me a long ass time to accept myself.
No matter how many times friends and family members would compliment me, I never saw it. It was literally just words that correlated to no meaning. I was so set on the fact that I was ‘this’ and ‘that,’ and nothing was going to change my point of view.
The key thing that enabled me to gain confidence was patience within myself. We all seem to think that you’ll be ‘told you’re good enough’ and then automatically feel it. It may be easy to believe that it is the sort of thing that changes overnight, but it certainly isn’t. Bit by bit, I picked things about myself that I hated; and spun them into positives.
I realised that I can’t change how I look. And for a while, that was the sad reality of it all. I spent so long wanting to compare myself to others, and sitting in the background because my friends were ‘prettier’ than me and had ‘nicer hair.’ But I’m just me. I’m my own little unique living thing. I wear glasses because I can’t see. And that’s okay. I have naturally big thighs, and that’s okay. Sometimes my hair does this weird thing where it doesn’t want to style, and that’s okay. I have a baby face. I don’t have any stand out features. But the fact of the matter is that I am not the prettiest dime in the box, and I never, and still don’t, aim to be.
There’s a clear difference between obnoxiously loving yourself, and loving yourself in a way of acceptance and confidence. Because I am just me *shrugs.* I’m dorky. I like making people laugh. I like making memories with my best friends. I like travelling. I like embarrassing myself on the internet. I like how yeah I may not have any common sense, but I’m sure as hell not stupid. I like having the ability to be that one person who will make people laugh when the room may feel tense.
For so long, I lived my life beating myself up over something which was completely out of my control. No surgery, make-up, or anything else will change the fundamental qualities of you. Mate, embrace that shit. Embrace the small things. The big things. Even the in-between quirky things. Because I’m sick and tired of seeing people feel less than worthy because standards of beauty or so high nowadays. Or because we’re all expected to act a certain way, rather than simply embracing ! who ! we ! are ! I am not everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t care. The main reasoning behind this post is to acknowledge the fact that I am me. And whoever that ‘me’ is, is okay. Because I’m different. And everyone truly is unique.
Love and happiness always,