body positivity | Empowerment | General blog posts | Me & my life | Mental health | Uncategorized

Progress: An update

By on March 11, 2017


I’m going to go out on a limb here and admit that I haven’t felt like I am ‘me’ lately. Now, you may be wondering what that means- and I’ve tried to work that out too. I occasionally get periods in which my mental health deviates, and I often become confused in who I am. It seems to be a question that I’ve asked myself a lot recently, and it that time, I seemed to have lost all meaning of the person who I am.

With that being said, I understand now that my high levels of anxiety come and go. I was confused as to why this happens; as to why my anxiety can be bearable for a few weeks, or even months, and then suddenly go really bad. According to my therapist (we’ll get onto that a bit later), this is totally normal, and it’s opened my eyes up to understanding my mental health more.

Since 2017 started, I’ve had a lot of those ‘unbearable’ moments in which I have become utterly baffled over what’s going on in my head. One minute I seemed to have everything sorted, and the next I can’t seem to calm myself down. However, I am writing this blog post from a perspective of ‘progress.’ The idea that I am sat here writing this now, and can safely say that I feel a lot better in who I am; and that I’m certainly not as confused.

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you may be aware that I have recently joined… and even started the gym. The gym is something in which I wished I had always had the motivation to do; but for so long the idea of going to the gym on my own, and the fear of judgement utterly petrified me. It’s taken a lot for me to motivate myself enough to even join the gym, but here I am and I did it.

I’ve just got home from doing my second session (we’ve all got to start somewhere, right?), and I’m so glad that I took the plunge and realised that this was what I needed. I’m doing this to develop myself. To gain back my confidence. To feel better in myself, and to use the gym as a way to stop me overthinking so much and concentrate my energy on something positive.

I know I have mentioned this in a couple of blog posts recently, but whilst we’re addressing the idea of ‘progress’ I want to reflect on the fact that I have started ‘cognitive behavioural therapy’ and it’s worked wonders for my anxiety. I feel like I understand what goes on in my head more, what triggers certain thoughts, and how to relax myself when I feel the whole world caving in on me. It’s such a calming feeling knowing that I am finally making progress in that area of my mind, and I hope I can come back in a few months and still see this experience as a positive for me and my health.

And above all, I have put one of my most fundamental New Year’s resolutions into action (I don’t normally make resolutions, but based on how last year went for me, this year was an exception for that). I am finally putting myself first, and refuse to let myself be taken down by anyone else’s negativity. This has always been something that I have desired to do, and I feel a lot happier clearing out negative people and energy in my life. It’s like a breath of fresh air, and no matter how much you don’t want to do it at the time, it’s better all round for your own sake. Do not put yourself on the line for someone who just wants to constantly bring you down and doesn’t contribute to your life anymore.

So yeah, that’s about it for this weeks little ‘life update.’ I feel like I have undergone a lot of changes in my life recently, and it’s been so hard to keep up. With my new job, starting the gym, making new friends, it’s been like a crazy rollercoaster of emotions and I (hope) everything is settling down a bit more now. But hey, I did it. I’m still here and I’m extremely excited for the future. Watch this space.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | Uncategorized

February round-up

By on March 1, 2017


I want to start doing these types of ’round-up’ posts on my blog at the end of every month, as I am a strong believer in reflecting on the positive, and negative in life. My therapist also suggested that I start to write down one positive thing I’ve done at the end of every day, so here’s to progress.

Honestly, February has been a bit of a blur to me. I feel as though it’s been one of those months that has just flown by before you realise it’s even properly begun. But for such a short month, I seemed to have accomplished more this month than I imagined I ever would.

For starters, I signed up to the gym which I am so excited about. That means that I can finally get to where I want to be regarding my body image with any luck, and just work on cherishing and looking after my body for once. At the end of the day, our bodies deserve to be loved sometimes as well as our minds, so I am super excited to be starting a new hobby which I hope will continue for a long time.

I also started my new job this month which is also such a big step for me. When it comes to applying to new jobs, I get extremely worried about factors which the job may involve before even starting the job. For example, what if I mess up the interview? What if I make no new friends? What if I end up being completely rubbish at my job? I tried my best to push those thoughts aside… and guess what? I got the job and have happily and successfully (I hope!) just done by second day.

However, there are also certain things that I need to work on next month. One being, cutting myself some slack. A while ago, I promised myself that I would not pressure myself to be a ‘perfect’ version of myself. This is also something in which I discussed with my therapist the other day, and it pleases me to say that for a while, I haven’t bothered about ‘needing’ to be ‘perfect.’ On the other hand, I seem to have done that a lot this month, and I need to remind myself that I’m not perfect. I will say and do things I regret, but that’s okay. My mistakes simply mean I’m human.

I hope you enjoyed this rambling / different sort of post. I want to continue to do one of these every month, so let me know what you think in the comment box below.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | Mental health | Uncategorized

New beginnings

By on February 22, 2017

I have recently said and done some things that I deeply regret. In all honesty, I’ve spent the last 24 hours beating myself up about those things. I’m the sort of person who completely hates drama, or arguments, or anything in between; but I always seem to find myself getting involved in them… head first… at 50 mph without meaning to.

So what am I going to do about it? What am I going to do to try to sort all this out in my own head and give myself some peace for once? I decided to tackle this by writing it all down here, in this blog post. Because the fact of the matter is that I will make mistakes. I will do things that I regret. I’ll sit there and think, “come on Becca, just stop.” I’ll just start again.

I am far from perfect. I don’t ever claim to be, and I don’t ever claim to have everything in check all the time. I don’t think I would be human if I did everything right. I have feelings, and sometimes feelings and emotion can get the better of me (as much as I try not to let it).

I want to leave the past in the past so incredibly much, yet something always seems to happen to bring it back to present day. It’s like something that I can’t seem to get rid of, and it worms it’s way back in. One thing after another. Constantly.

I vowed that 2017 would be a year of new beginnings. Motivation. Practice. Peace. And looking after myself first and foremost for once ! And in most ways, that has been the case. I am incredibly proud and humbled with everything that I have achieved this year already- and I am incredibly proud of being able to acknowledge what, and who, is good or bad for my health.

But like I said, I can’t be in check all the time. If someone claims to be perfect all the time and never admits to making mistakes, don’t believe them. It is a basic human trait. You have to make mistakes, to learn. You have to regret things, to vow never to do them again. You have to mess up sometimes so you can bounce back as a stronger and better you.

I feel like I am constantly screaming over who I am. I feel constantly misunderstood, or judged like people know the background reasoning behind my actions. Why I do things. Why I say things. When in all honesty, I don’t think even I have an explanation regarding some of my actions. If you think you know me, you most probably don’t; even I’m still trying to work that part out. But my mistakes do not make me a bad person. They do not undermine the fundamental factors about myself that I seem to want to embrace the most. They do not define me.

I am brave enough to sit here and admit to my mistakes. To look back at actions that I regret and realise why I messed up that one time. But here’s to new beginnings. Here’s to my new job, my new friends, starting the gym. Here’s to recovery and looking after my own mental health first and foremost. And you know what? Here’s to embracing who I am; despite all my mistakes. Because I’m human, and I’m proud of not claiming otherwise.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Empowerment | Feminism | General blog posts | Uncategorized

'A strong, independent woman.'

By on January 28, 2017


Okay so it’s nearly 12am and it’s been a while since I have plucked up a sudden ‘urge’ to write a blog post over something that makes my mind bounce and my heart flutter. When I get a sudden rush of writing inspiration, I normally get all weird inside and it’s like my thoughts run at 100 miles per hour so bare with me on this one.

Ladies, here’s a thought for you. A thought that people seem to mention all the time, but which has actually stuck with me tonight. Do not, EVER, let a man define your worth. Never. If a man is unable to cherish and appreciate you for who you are, then that’s his loss. Obviously, this applies to anyone in life, just like a man never letting a woman define his worth, but I’m talking about this in relation to something that’s been whirling round in my life.

I could’ve easily have let someone define my worth a long time ago. In fact, I touched on this in my ‘A conclusion’ post. But I am so incredibly glad that I didn’t make that mistake. And I am so incredibly glad that I am strong enough in myself to turn round and say, “You know what? That wasn’t what I needed.”

Because a person’s actions against you, does not define you. Have confidence in your own self to know what you deserve, and it should be nothing but the best.

You don’t find your worth in a man. You find your worth within yourself and then find a man who’s worthy of you. Remember that.

I feel like I’m going on a ‘women independence’ tangent right now, but I feel like this has to be reflected upon. I am so fortunate to have the mindset of independence and empowerment. To be strong enough to not let a man rule me, my life or my emotions. To know that being single can still be one of the best things. Because I don’t need anyone, and I never have. Wanting, and needing are two totally different things.

So, to whoever took me for granted, good effort. Thank you for making me feel more empowered, confident, independent and strong than I have ever felt in my life. Thank you for filling me with the courage to do better, and be better. And thank you for making me my own worth- which is certainly not shaped by your actions.

Stay fearless.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Giveaways | Uncategorized

Morphe 35O giveaway!

By on January 16, 2017


It’s that time again, and this time it’s going to be one of my biggest and most exciting giveaways yet. I have been totally blown away with all the nice comments and just everything to do with my blog / YouTube over the past few months, that I really wanted to give something back that I know you’ll love (and which happens to be my favourite eyeshadow palette, like ever).

I’m going to be giving away the Morphe 35O palette to one of you lovely people and here’s how to enter!

Enter via this form below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

All entries must be done through Rafflecopter above. This will make it easier for me to congregate all the entries and to pick the winners randomly (all terms and conditions are listed on the giveaway form).

All entrants must subscribe to my YouTube channel here, follow me on Twitter (+ turn on my tweet notifications), and be following me on Instagram. The form will redirect you to all those sites if you aren’t already following me / subscribed etc.

Terms & Conditions:

Giveaway ends 20th February 2017 at 00:00am GMT. **Open residents of the UK only.** Winner will have 48 hours to respond to the giveaway- failure to respond will result in another winner. Winners are chosen completely at random. All entrants must follow all the rules described- not doing this may result in disqualification. The product offered for the giveaway is free of charge, no purchase necessary. My opinions are my own and were not influenced by any form of compensation. Facebook, Twitter and Google+ are in no way associated with this giveaway. By providing your information in this form, you are providing your information to me and me alone. I do not share or sell information and will use any information only for the purpose of contacting the winner. All entrants under 18 years of age must ask for parent / guardians permission.

Once again, thank you so much for always being so lovely and supportive. You’re all cool n rad n amazing and yeah u get me. (wow how informal did that sound, but seriously though). xx

Good luck!

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | relationships | Uncategorized

Optimism

By on January 4, 2017


It’s a whole new year, and you have probably heard the phrase ‘new year, new me’ used countless times. Granted, I used to use that phrase myself, but over time I have realised, “really??” I think a new year holds new optimism and opportunities rather than a whole new, and different, person.

I have never felt so confident at the start of a year before. Normally, I assume that every year will be the same as the last. I’ll go to school. Maybe make new friendships. Maybe try at least one new thing. But this year seems different in a good kind of way. A lot has changed since this time last year- for one, I’ve finished education so I actually have more time to do things with my life.

This year holds so much optimism because there are so many amazing opportunities out there just waiting for me. Whether that’s in friendship, love, relationships, job prospects, or anything in between. I feel as though last year is helping my own growth into this year and the prospects really are endless.

It’s a new year. I feel as though people say this all the time (“blank slate” and all that), but it truly is. I feel like a fresh start is just what I need right now, a time to destress, get rid of all the toxic vibes, and just create new memories. Towards the end of last year I began to realise that life really is too short. Take every year as it comes, and just live for once and feel alive. Take life, and do what makes you happy because it’s the most amazing feeling.

I really hope I end this year with as much optimism as I have begun it with. Leave the past in the past, and create more positive moments. I think that is especially true of last year, and the idea of a new beginning completely excites me. Who knows where I’ll be 6 months from now. Who knows what I’ll even be writing about on here 6 months from now. Who knows how many amazing people I’ll be lucky enough to meet this year. I think it’s also the idea of ‘not knowing’ but being completely overwhelmed and excited with the idea of a new chapter in life. Here’s to 2017 and whatever weird and wonderful things may come with it.

Watch this space.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | Uncategorized

Christmas Eve: What I'm thankful for

By on December 24, 2016


I was in two minds as to whether I should do a Christmas Eve themed blog post, but seen as today is my publishing day and normally the day I upload new content, I figured, “Why not?”

I have actually been wanting to write a post similar to this for quite a while, and came to the conclusion that doing it around the time of Christmas would probably be more fitting.

I am thankful for a lot of things. I often look at my life and think, “wow. I really have a lot to be grateful for.” And I do. I have the most amazing friends, family, and people in general that surround me.

You have probably read a lot of posts similar to this, especially at this time of the year, so I am going to keep this post short and sweet for today. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and I feel that being blessed with the people around me is one of them.

I am thankful for anyone who has ever put up with me as odd as that may sound. After going from having not one single friend at one point, I am so thankful for all my friends around me today. Friendships are extremely important to me because of that, and it’s still surreal how many people are truly there for me. Thank you. Each and every single one of you.

Now for the completely cliche part (I know, it was coming). I am so incredibly thankful for every single person who takes time out of their day to read my rambling blog posts on here. Whether you’ve only visited my blog today, or a returning visitor, I cannot emphasise enough how thankful and humbled I am for each and every one of you. I get that I am definitely far from the biggest blog around, and that is totally okay, but you all deserve to be reminded how thankful I am for you taking time out of your day to read my content. It’s crazy.

And of course, I am extremely thankful for my family. I don’t normally get soppy when it comes to family, but sometimes I realise how lucky I am. I don’t, and will never, take anything they have done for me for granted. Whether that’s close family, or extended, I truly am thankful to be surrounded by such amazing people.

So there we have it. A pretty soppy post, but hey, it’s Christmas. (Will we ever stop using that excuse for everything at this time of year? Probably not).

I will probably be writing a New Year themed post at the end of the week in the run up to 2017 so I will leave those good ol’ New Years resolutions / reflection for then.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with those you love the most. Sometimes it’s hard to forget what we have when we get wrapped up in the Christmas spirit and presents, and all that jazz. Stay safe, and healthy.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | Uncategorized

UK Blog Awards- VOTING NOW OPEN!

By on December 8, 2016

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HEY GUYS! Today is a pretty random and spontaneous kind of post.

I have been nominated for a UK Blog Award which is so surreal and amazing at the same time. i would like to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who took the time to nominate me, and who has ever supported my blog and this crazy journey of writing. It is extremely humbling, so thank you.

This means that I have made it to the next stage of the voting process, also known as the ‘public vote.’

You can vote for my blog by simply clicking this link. All you need to fill in is your name, e-mail, and click the category I’m nominated in (lifestyle)- and hit submit!

Also, a HUGE thank you to anyone who has voted for me so far. I am extremely grateful, and even though awards do not determine what my blog is about, I am still very thankful that people take to me, my writing, and my hard work.

Voting closes 19th December.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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General blog posts | Me & my life | Uncategorized

A letter to myself

By on November 26, 2016

I think we sometimes forget how short life actually is. It seems like people tel me all the time to make the most of my life while I’m 18 because it simply flies by.

I’m the sort of person who likes to live without any regrets. t’s pretty ironic for someone who seems to dwell over certain situations and over analyse their outcomes, but I don’t think there can be a more accurate life philosophy.

Good or bad, everything you do and everything that happens to you happens for a reason. I’m a strong believer in this and I think this is one of the most powerful factors when it comes to me not living life with constant regret.

I hope I can look back on my life in 50 years and think “Wow.” To be honest with you, I don’t even know what career path I want to choose for certain yet. I;m honestly just living. I’m young. I have so many years left, and for the moment I’m ticking things off my bucket list that I have aspired to do for so long.

I don’t know if I’m typing this out rapidly on my keyboard at 12am because I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and I’m exhausted. But honestly, just live. I think we all forget that we are simply alive and we are made to live. We are made to experience all angles of life, and sometimes they can be more beneficial to us than we first think.

I can’t, and won;t, sit here and say I haven’t made mistakes. I’m human, there’s going to be times when I mess up and beat myself up for it. But sometimes we dwell on mistakes too long and spend our lives stuck in the past instead of the here and now. Everything that has happened in my past has been a learning curve for me. People have had it worse than me, but I have still had my own unique learning experiences that I like to turn into a positive.

The main message that I want to send myself is to just feel alive. Embrace your flaws and mistakes. Make the most f every moment. Every laughter, every tear, every experience good or bad. But with that, stay true. Stay humble and kind throughout. As well as making myself proud in 50 years time, I hope I make the people around me proud too.

Love and happiness always,
xo, Becca

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Empowerment | General blog posts | Me & my life | Mental health | Motivation | relationships | Uncategorized

Every passing thought

By on November 19, 2016


I am currently sat in a coffee shop (once again) staring at my blank notes on my laptop and trying to come up with a blog post in which i can express every radical and deep thought that surrounds my head at this moment in time.

I think one of the things that I have always been most scared of is judgement. The idea that I will never be good enough for anyone, and that I will occasionally be open to scrutiny and not find a way out from it.

When I write endless blog posts about how I am me, or about how I have grown as a person, I do it as more of my own personal reflection of who I’m becoming and I’m proud of it. I’m proud of the fact that people can now presume I’m ‘this and that,’ and I will honestly take no notice of it because I know who I am.

I occasionally like to reflect on self confidence and wow, this is something I still can’t believe is real. I was always one of those people who wished people would be more confident in themselves because there are so many genuinely beautiful people in this world who simply don’t see that, but never told myself the same thing. I can’t tell you how many times I used to purposely avoid mirrors because I physically couldn’t accept who I was.

In fact, it was only last week on a night out that I wore a short body con dress that I would’ve never imagined wearing 5 months ago. i feel like I’m going on a preachy tangent, but I am extremely emotional right now and would cry into my cold brew that is sat next to me but the only thing left is the sugar at the bottom. Typical.

Maybe we all have our own unique space in this world and we don’t see it. Maybe fate works in weird and wonderful ways. Maybe our friends are our friends to make us who we are. Maybe our ex relationships are our hurtful past to in fact, make us stronger. Maybe the people who drift in and out of our lives is the worlds way of telling us to make the most of people in our lives while they’re here.

I often look up at the sky and think all these things. I mean, I’m only eighteen yeas old. I’m young. I have so much more of life to experience, yet it all seems to make sense to me at the moment… in a jumbled sort of way. I probably have another 5,000 relationship break-ups to come my way, and god knows how many jobs until I find the one that seems to suit me best. But instead of thinking about boys, or relationships I look up at the sky and think about life. And people. And how my life is just beginning, and how excited I am to see what’s next in store for me.

The fact is, I’m an avid thinker. I am looking round this coffee shop right now and thinking about people’s lives. About how they manage to pay bills, or mortgages, or even student finances. At the moment, i don’t have to worry about that. But at the end of the day, maybe that doesn’t matter. if you have no money now, trust fate to work everything out. Maybe I’m naive. But maybe living is simply the only fundamental part to life.

I can’t write poetry. I physically can’t. i always sit there and write poems about heartbreak and about how sad I may be feeling one night. I can’t rhyme to save my life. None of it really flows, but for some reason, I still want to publish a book full of ‘bad poetry.’ Nothing has to be perfect, though. Not even my own writing. Gosh, my blog is full of rambling posts about life and I think I fluff my writing too much. But my bad poetry makes me, me. My dodgy blind eye makes me, me. My mistakes make me, me.

This is an insight into my head and my thoughts. In fact, I’m thinking about texting my best friend back right now because I accidentally forgot to this morning and now I am worrying about how she is. Maybe I care too much about the small things, but sometimes they’re the best things to live for. Like laughing until you can’t physically breathe. Sitting in a coffee shop for two hours writing about life. Spending time with friends. Looking up at the sky, and trees, and nature. Let your life live in itself.

Love and happiness always,
xo, Becca

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