body positivity | Empowerment | Uncategorized

The importance of self love

By on August 10, 2016

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I feel like this topic is constantly talked about. Telling people they should “love themselves and their bodies” and “should be comfortable in their own skin.” But like a lot of other things, that’s easier said than done. How do we achieve self love, and how do we know when we’ve achieved self love?

I think it’s good to sometimes explore why it’s important that we love ourselves more. A lot of us have probably beaten ourselves up about one thing or another. Whether that’s regarding our appearance, a personality trait, or something we may have done to others. At the end of the day, cut yourself some slack. Perfection doesn’t exist, so why do we always strive for something that’s false anyway?

Be patient with yourself and use every day as a way of growing up and being better. In order to do this, you have to stop beating yourself up about everything you’re not, and look at everything you are.

For example, I don’t have skinny thighs, or big boobs, or the best face structure. Sure, I’d love all those things. I’d love to not have to turn my head to a weird angle so I can actually see because I’m partially sighted in one eye. I’d love to not make mistakes, and hurt the people I love the most. I’d love to actually be skilled at something and not be so insecure all the time because I have ‘nothing going for me.’ But when that all gets too much,  I look at the things I am. I sure as hell cherish everything that means the most to me, meaning that I am kind and compassionate to those I love the most. I actually like the colour of my hair at the moment (I seem to be going more ginger!) I actually like that my personality is centred around being a good person, and I eventually let myself off when I mess up. I actually like my ugly ass scar that runs halfway up my stomach because it makes me different. (Trust me, it is ugly).

It’s so easy to get caught up in all the pressure that surrounds us. As to what kind of human you should be. I hate being sensitive, because I get hurt easily. But being sensitive also means that I have my eyes so open to the world, and I know how to be so compassionate towards others so I don’t hurt people the way I’ve been hurt. See what I mean by turning once personal flaws about yourself into positives?

I’m not saying you’ll be confident all the time. I have times when I get so insecure that I would be quite happy not leaving the house for a week. I still compare myself to others, and I still beat myself up about not being ‘pretty enough’ or a ‘nice enough person.’ It’s okay to feel low sometimes; because it can help to come back with a stronger and more confident mindset.

By no means does loving yourself enough to be confident in yourself mean you’re ‘egotistical’ or ‘big headed’ either. Instead, it’s liberating finding who you are, and achieving everything you want to achieve. Take a moment to think about the things you love about yourself the most. People fail to realise a lot of the time that there is good and beauty in everyone and that includes yourself. Such a cliche phrase I know, but in the nearly 18 years I’ve lived, I’ve found that’s very true.

And why self love is so important? Because at the end of the day, you’re your own longest commitment. When you feel at your lowest, it’s you who has the ability to pick yourself back up again. I have begun to realise that beating myself over things that I can’t change aren’t important to me anymore, and I’m at a point in my life where I’ve never felt so happy. I changed once flaws, into things I love about myself. Thick thighs. Small boobs. Bad eyes- and anything else someone has criticised me for regarding my appearance. They’re all imperfections that I have accepted and are happy living with.

And my most overused personal favourite phrase regarding this topic; hashtag body posiiiii.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

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body positivity | Uncategorized

Self love and empowerment

By on July 15, 2016


In a world full of negativity and negative energy, sometimes it is easy to put yourself down and not feel good enough. To feel insecure in your body, or how you look, and to beat yourself up about it. Trust me, I was the same and occasionally still get like that. But like everything else, life is a journey and self love and empowerment is part of that journey. I constantly stumble across people on my own Facebook news feed who share statuses about being insecure in their body or how they look. When I see this, it genuinely upsets me. In fact, I’ve been known to message people I’ve never talked to before and remind them that they are genuinely beautiful. The key is finding beauty in yourself that you fail to see.

Of course it is easier said than done. Self love and empowerment takes a lot of hard work and requires you to trust yourself. But do you see that spot on your cheek? Or that stretch mark on your thigh? Or how your tummy rolls when you sit down? It’s all completely 100% natural. Sometimes, we fail to realise that and beat ourselves up for things that are out of our control. But look at it this way; stand up and sit in front of the mirror. Look at yourself and tell yourself, “You know what? I am actually good enough and I am actually beautiful.” Self empowerment is all about you putting your full trust into yourself and what you say to yourself.

Personally, and as cliche as this may sound, I do see beauty in everyone. I feel like beauty is something that we’re all born with, and sometimes it takes longer for some of us to find that beauty. This world is full of billions of people who all genetically look unique to each other. Isn’t that beautiful in itself? The fact that you don’t look exactly the same as ANYONE ELSE on this planet? Embrace the things you hate about yourself, because someone else will love them. For example, I personally hate wearing glasses and then having an eye that constantly shakes. I personally hate having a massive scar in the middle of my stomach. I personally hate having big thighs and small boobs. But you know what? I secretly love those things too, because as cliche and overused as this phrase may be, it’s a part of who I am and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

It’s easy to compare yourself to models and ‘stereotypically’ pretty girls on the internet, we all do it. But do you know what’s cool? You’re also just as beautiful as they are in your own way. Sit there and pin point certain things in yourself that you love. Whether it’s your hair. Your eyes. Your smile. As well as pin pointing the things we hate about ourselves, we should also pin point the things we love most about ourselves. Confidence is key, and if you can learn to embrace all your features then you’re half way there. Ultimately, the day you learn to love yourself is the day you also learn let others love you.

Loving yourself also isn’t just about loving your body or how you look. It’s about loving everything, including your personality and how you treat others. Have you ever heard the phrase that beauty also comes from within? When I was going through a time in which I physically couldn’t even look myself in the mirror because I hated how I looked so much, I learnt that working on my inside beauty was key to embracing my outside beauty. I am a person who likes to surround themselves with positivity, be positive and be kind to everyone- even people who may have hurt me. I try to take down my pride and forgive others. I try to treat people with as much love and compassion and I would want them to show me in return. The day you realise that you’re a better person than you give yourself credit for, and see the good in others also, is the day your mind will be at peace and you’ll stop trying to fight having an ugly personalty. I’m not saying it’s easy. I still make mistakes, and I’ve still hurt people and not been as compassionate and kind as I could’ve been. But I picked myself up and kept trying, and you can too.

Self empowerment is a journey. Think of it as a graph. You’ve got to keep the graph steady and increasing rather than letting yourself fall. I feel like a lot of it has to do with who surrounds you in your life. If you’re surrounded by positive people who remind you of your worth, your more likely to accept that and believe them. But, if you’re surrounded by people who make you feel less than good enough, then you don’t deserve them in your ‘bubble of empowerment.’

Change starts from today. If you feel like you’re struggling with your body image then remember, from me, that you are more beautiful than you give yourself credit for and you offer more to this world than you think. Yes, it’s cliche, but it’s time more people helped bring each other up rather than tear each other down. Liberate yourself. Empower yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and admit how beautiful you are. It’s not vain, in fact it’s far from it. I will never understand why it is acceptable for society to make people feel like they need to put themselves down instead of picking themselves up because it’s viewed as “loving yourself too much” or “being too self absorbed.” Confidence and empowerment is one of the most fundamental parts to us finding happiness as a human being and it should be celebrated more because it deserves to be.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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Want 20% off your order at Coconut-Lane? Use the code ‘beccajayne20’ at the checkout to redeem…. go on! Why not treat yourself?

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Connect:
Twitter: @beccaxjayne

Instagram: itsbeccajayne

Snapchat: itssbeccajayne

 
Feel free to drop me a tweet etc xo

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