Me & my life

Why I don’t want children… and that’s okay

July 15, 2017

My personal preference of not wanting children… it’s something in which has been playing on my mind recently and which I wanted to address in a rambled blog post. Because the fact is, I don’t want children. Not out of ignorance, hatred, not due to my ‘Feminist’ beliefs- but because I have a choice, and I choose that I do not see a future with children.

Granted, I am only 18 years old and I may end up changing my views in a few years, but that’s not the point. Because I shouldn’t have to justify what I want with my own body, or why I don’t want children. I’m simply not a child orientated person. There is not a rule that states we should all have children, so choosing not to is okay.

One thing I get told countless times is, “Oh you’ll change your mind” or, “You’re so ungrateful because some people can’t physically carry children.” I think both of these speak volumes of ignorance. Because no one can tell me what I can or can’t do with my life, nor can they try to guilt trip me into something that I want with my own body. There seems to be a lot of pressure on presuming that all women should have children- whereas men are allowed to have the choice.

The bottom line is that I don’t want children because I am free to make that choice. It has never been something I have pictured in my future, and it’s okay to want children… just like it’s also okay to not want them. There are so many forms of contraception out there that, that choice is available to women and men. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with your own future, life, or body.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

  1. I salute you.
    Seriously though, I do. Well done for speaking up. When I was your age, I felt the same way, but never felt brave enough to say so and only came out and said it when I was 30 years old (this year). And it’s not because I have Epilepsy, or because I have mental health issues – all of that came after knowing that I didn’t want children.
    I just don’t want them and I never have and it amazes me how people – especially women judge us for that choice. A friend of mine, who didn’t even want children herself didn’t stand by my choice and she couldn’t even explain why! It was so bizarre!
    It’s my body. Luckily I have a partner now who feels exactly the same way xoxo

  2. You do what you want girl, nobody can tell you how to do anything… and I agree it definitely speaks volumes of ignorance if people say you’re ungrateful because of it, it’s like you’re not even allowed to make your own choices without being judged these days honestly 😫 X

  3. I’m glad you have been confident to post about this. I am in two minds with seeing myself having kids in the future, I just don’t know what I’d like at this point in my life. Well done for speaking up about this. It should be your choice what you want to do with your body and your future, great read.
    Lois x

  4. I think that it doesn’t really matter what other people think, as long as it’s your choice and that you’re happy with it… Because your happiness is one of the most important things, and having children is a HUGE step. One of my friends doesn’t like the idea of having children either and kudos to her: childbirth sounds like a nightmare, and I don’t get why people make a huge deal out of it.

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  7. Good for you. I’ve never wanted children and I’m nearly 30. It annoys me when people say “That’s only because you’re scared of childbirth” and “You say thst now but one day you’ll change your mind”.
    The world is disgustingly over populated. When I see pregnancy announcements I actually feel a little sad for our planet.
    My partner and I have discussed this in depth and fortunately he shares similar beliefs. Together we’ve decided that of one day we do want to raise a child, we will be adopting. Why add another when there are millions already needing parents?

  8. While I have always dreamed of having kids, I think it’s quite alright if you don’t. Having babysat, and helped my mom at her classroom, I’ve found they are a handful. Raising kids can be rewarding, but they also cost time, money, and sleep. Ignore those who badger you about it. There are other rewarding things you could do too. From one teen to another, I say go find what you care about. Travel, and be amazing.

  9. Love this! There’s so much pressure on women to have children and to centre their lives around children rather than be successful and do what they want to with their lives. So glad you shared your views x

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  14. Oh gosh, I feel you. I actually was 18 and had the SAME conversation with a coworker. I said I never wanted kids and he told me that I’d change my mind one day. I had a baby because my husband wanted one (I delivered right before I turned 29). I kept waiting for that desire to have a child and I just never did. I had a desire to travel the world. I had a desire to pursue my education. I had a LOT of desires. But children? Not one of them. It was no secret that I never wanted kids either. My coworkers were all shocked when I got pregnant. I looked into abortion and adoption while I was pregnant. I have a 1 1/2 year old now and there are STILL days I wish we didn’t have a kid! But I love that kid to death and while I could totally imagine a life without kids, I could never imagine anything happening to my baby. Now that he’s here, he better stay here and he better stay healthy. The love I have for him is incredible. But there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I have friends who don’t ever want kids and I’m so jealous of their freedom! Who knows what’ll happen down the road though! 🙂

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