For the past 24 hours or so, I have been debating over whether or not to post a blog post about Monday night, or to just leave it. The fact is, I’ve been thinking a lot about Monday, how fortunate I am to still be able to hug my loved one’s, and how you really don’t know what’s around the corner. Cliche, I know.
If you follow most of my social media accounts, you may be aware that I was there on Monday night. You may also be aware that when it comes to Ariana Grande, I am such a dedicated fan and have been for 5 years now. A concert is a place of such positivity, love, and excitement. The whole idea of being in the same room as your favourite artist and connecting to their music live is one of the things I love most about concerts.
However, I don’t want Monday to deter from that experience. It was a surreal kind of night, which ended in a way that I never imagined. You see, these things seem to happen all the time, and you never think that you will ever get caught up in it. I don’t want to make this seem like a cliche, but I also wanted to right about how I feel while everything is just sinking in. Because the fact is, I never knew what was happening. Or what the noise was, or why everyone suddenly started running. I don’t understand how a night of such happiness and positivity, turned into the events that occurred.
No one can tell you how to feel, or what you’re feeling. No one can prepare you for the shock that comes afterwards, or the utter confusion as to why things like this happen. I feel pressured on how to feel, constantly being asked when I simply don’t know. I can’t put my emotions into words, and I am failing to get this all round in my head. “If you weren’t injured, then why are you upset?” You can’t natural human emotions, and you can’t tell me how to feel. If you aren’t in my mind, you can’t make my mind up for me.
However, I want to reflect upon the feelings of utter gratitude and positive emotion. I am constantly seeing people reflect upon Monday’s events and saying, “It makes me realise not to take anything for granted,” and that couldn’t be more accurate. I feel an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for life, and although I have always been one to make the most of every little thing, it has really hit home. How the people around me who care about me really are a blessing. How I possibly spent so much time worrying about things; when everything I need is right here.
My sincere heart goes out to everyone else there that night. From the injured, to the missing, to the victims. To the people who stopped to look after me as I was on my own. To the woman who offered to walk me to the train station. To the worker in McDonald’s who offered to charge my phone in the staffroom while I was in complete shock and needed to contact my mum. To the taxi driver who took me home while I was stranded in Manchester and bought me food and water as I hadn’t really eaten. To the off duty paramedic who offered his services to the wounded. In a night of such negativity, I also saw so much positive love and compassion. That people really do stand together, and that life truly is precious.
Love and happiness always,