Me & my life

Why the Manchester attack has made me view life differently

May 24, 2017

For the past 24 hours or so, I have been debating over whether or not to post a blog post about Monday night, or to just leave it. The fact is, I’ve been thinking a lot about Monday, how fortunate I am to still be able to hug my loved one’s, and how you really don’t know what’s around the corner. Cliche, I know.

If you follow most of my social media accounts, you may be aware that I was there on Monday night. You may also be aware that when it comes to Ariana Grande, I am such a dedicated fan and have been for 5 years now. A concert is a place of such positivity, love, and excitement. The whole idea of being in the same room as your favourite artist and connecting to their music live is one of the things I love most about concerts.

However, I don’t want Monday to deter from that experience. It was a surreal kind of night, which ended in a way that I never imagined. You see, these things seem to happen all the time, and you never think that you will ever get caught up in it. I don’t want to make this seem like a cliche, but I also wanted to right about how I feel while everything is just sinking in. Because the fact is, I never knew what was happening. Or what the noise was, or why everyone suddenly started running. I don’t understand how a night of such happiness and positivity, turned into the events that occurred.

No one can tell you how to feel, or what you’re feeling. No one can prepare you for the shock that comes afterwards, or the utter confusion as to why things like this happen. I feel pressured on how to feel, constantly being asked when I simply don’t know. I can’t put my emotions into words, and I am failing to get this all round in my head. “If you weren’t injured, then why are you upset?” You can’t natural human emotions, and you can’t tell me how to feel. If you aren’t in my mind, you can’t make my mind up for me.

However, I want to reflect upon the feelings of utter gratitude and positive emotion. I am constantly seeing people reflect upon Monday’s events and saying, “It makes me realise not to take anything for granted,” and that couldn’t be more accurate. I feel an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for life, and although I have always been one to make the most of every little thing, it has really hit home. How the people around me who care about me really are a blessing. How I possibly spent so much time worrying about things; when everything I need is right here.

My sincere heart goes out to everyone else there that night. From the injured, to the missing, to the victims. To the people who stopped to look after me as I was on my own. To the woman who offered to walk me to the train station. To the worker in McDonald’s who offered to charge my phone in the staffroom while I was in complete shock and needed to contact my mum. To the taxi driver who took me home while I was stranded in Manchester and bought me food and water as I hadn’t really eaten. To the off duty paramedic who offered his services to the wounded. In a night of such negativity, I also saw so much positive love and compassion. That people really do stand together, and that life truly is precious.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

  1. A very brace post to make and I have so much respect for you sharing such a difficult story that I dare say very few of us will ever comprehend. I am so glad you were unharmed. It gives me such a heavy heart to see what’s unfolded in front of me via news nevermind having been there. It is so true what you say about never taking anyone or anything for granted and how we truly never know what is going to happen next. Sending love xx

  2. I got quite tearful reading this, it was so lovely to read. I’m so sorry that you were in that situation, my heart breaks every time I think about what happened! Some people are so cruel but I really just want to take life by the hands and run with it now! Life is too short to sit and ponder the things I desperately want to do! Xxx

    http://www.lifeofem.co.uk

  3. Its amazing how events can change how we view things. To see even the ordinary doing small things to help makes me see that people do have hearts. An act of kindness creates a ripple
    x

  4. I’m glad that you got home safe,I’m sorry for what you and thousands of others had to go through.My heart goes out to you and everyone else affected by this terrible tragedy ❤️❤️

  5. It’s heartbreaking to hear the news about Manchester. Most of them were teenagers and it was suppose to be a happy place but no matter what happened, I am glad that people supported and helped each other.

    My heart goes out to their families, may their soul rest in peace.

    I am glad you’re okay 🙂 You take care Becca xx

    apsster @ Little Heart Speaks

  6. This absolutely broke my heart to read. I remember seeing you post on Instagram on the night and I checked it instantly because I panicked and knew you were there. I cannot imagine what it was like to be so close and personal to such a vicious attack and it is totally normal to not put in to words how that makes you feel. Totally agree that these events put everything in to perspective and despite it being such an appalling act of hatred, so much love and unity has risen out of it which is truly amazing xx

  7. This was such a beautiful post. I’m sorry to hear that you were affected so directly. While I live across the ocean, I still was in shock and disbelief at what had happened that night. You are so right about the strength of the good. There is so much good and kindness in the world. It is always going to overpower the bad. It’s moments like these that you realize how much people are willing to help out and lend a hand. I’ve been in an extremely thinkative mood this last week, and for the reason that you said. We the people are going to stand together and stay strong. xxx

    Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com

  8. Wow!!!! What a post. You have written something compelling and humbling, I wasn’t there but I attend lots of concerts and have been to that arena many times it really does make you think differently about life. Thanks for sharing.

  9. This is such lovely writing, so sorry to hear you were directly affected by the horrific attack in Manchester. But you are completely right, music concerts are a place where everyone can connect and enjoy themselves by singing and dancing along to an artist they all enjoy! The Manchester attack was horrific but it was amazing to see all the compassion which came from strangers to strangers in the aftermath. Thank you for sharing.

    Kirsty | The Monday Project | themondayproject.co.uk

  10. Lots of love for this post. It goes without saying that my best wishes go out to you and everyone else who was affected in any way. I totally agree with the fact that we shouldn’t let it deter us from living our lives how we wish to. I recently wrote a post in reaction as well about my decision to travel despite any increase possibilities of attacks because we can’t let them install terror in us like they aim to.

    Keep being awesome!

  11. A very emotional post, I felt quite teary reading it. Such a horrific, tragic event. It really does make you think differently and appreciate loved ones even more. It’s heartwarming to hear how you were helped by the kindness of strangers.

  12. So glad that you are safe, and that you have taken this experience fully to heart. Be gentle with yourself in these grieving days. So very proud of you.

    Amber || mylifeinlimbo.com

  13. What happened in Manchester and other countries is truly heartbreaking. I’m glad that you’re okay no word I can describe my feelings after I read this but all I can say that we’re glad that you are okay safe from the harm, I can not imagine what is like to be there but what I learned after the Manchester attack is that we should not fear to win us.

  14. I’m glad you’re okay. Kudos to the people who helped you and other people that day. It’s nice to hear that despite the bad things happening all over the world, there are still plenty of good people out there.

  15. This is a beautifully written & very insightful post, and I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to be there in person. I lived in a London for the past couple of months, and England became a second home to me. I cant help but feel saddened by everything happening. Stay strong 💕

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