Empowerment | Me & my life | Uncategorized

Finding yourself

December 17, 2016


I feel as though discovering ‘who you are’ is a big obstacle when it comes to life. I have certainly had my doubts in who I am, and I am still progressing even now into the person I want to become.

The thing with life is that there is no right or wrong way of doing things. You kind of just muddle through- and finding yourself can also be a bit like that. I have had many ‘trial and error’ moments where I’ve thought, “wait, this isn’t who I want to be.”

Throughout High School, I was always that kid at the back of the class that hardly talked to anyone, and just stuck to her own group of ‘friends.’ I found friendship especially challenging in my early teenage years, and for the first time in my life, I will openly come out and say that I was subject to months of bullying.

I figured that being mocked and ridiculed for who I was on a daily basis was normal. I put up with it all because I figured that I wasn’t worthy enough to have any ‘proper friends.’ I kind of figured that the people that were worthy of that were the ‘popular ones’- the people with their own cliques, and I ultimately was a shy outsider.

I soon began to realise that I was, and am, worth much more than that. It even got to one point in High School where I would have quite happily moved schools without a trace. I think a lot of what I went through has also contributed to my anxiety. I don’t want to go into anymore detail into what happened exactly- but in some ways, it made me stronger.

You are not a reflection of other people’s perceptions of you, but rather your own. I am a strong believer that finding confidence in yourself is also a fundamental part to becoming who you’re meant to be. If people choose to overlook your positive aspects- then that’s their problem. Honestly, I wish I was as confident in High School as I was in college. I wish I made as many friends in High School as college, and in some ways, I wish I had blossomed into myself sooner.

Although I have changed throughout the past three years, or even six months, I know and understand that there is still a long way to go. I will never be perfect, and that’s okay. I have done and said things that I deeply regret; but would you really be living if you never had those times?

For now, I am in a happy place with myself. It is the most liberating feeling hearing and seeing people from even High School acknowledge that I have changed. I’m not that ‘shy’ and ‘self conscious’ girl that sad quietly at the back of the class anymore. And I may not be the stubborn girl I am now in ten years time. Who knows.

I like to think of this as a sort of journey. If you think you know me, you most probably don’t. I am always changing and improving. I am always working on myself and working on who I am. Sometimes give people a chance though, it’s easy to forget that everyone is still ‘finding themselves’ at some point in their lives.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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44 Comments

  2. We do the best we can with what we have at the time. A woman like me, at 49 is capable of handling bullying much differently than when I was a teenagers. I find as I have aged, I can look back and make sense of it all. And you are definitely right, everything that has happened to you makes you who you are now. What I know for sure at this age is that I don’t know much! Evolving is the only constant in this life. Love you insight and personal reflection. Kim

  5. I am so happy for you, I completely agree with the change quote!! It’s okay to change, I’m 100% not the same girl I was in highschool! I have grown and evolved and that’s okay!!!!
    Great post, I hope 2017 can bring you more confidence xox

  7. This is such a wonderful post! We often think that finding ourselves means we’ll discover some end version of ourselves, but in truth, we are always in a state of change. What’s great about that is realizing we are works in progress and how okay that is. I love that you’ve found confidence, and that you can carry that with you on your journey of self. Thank you for writing this and sharing your experience!

  11. New reader here but this post really hit home – I, like you, suffered at secondary school and it wasn’t until I moved to college did I finally find some people who didn’t mock me for who I was. I think finding the right people amplifies who you are as a person as you’re finally free to be your true self.

  13. Loved this poat! I can kinda relate because this is how I was from about years 9-11 however since joining sixth form but mainly this year, my confidence feels like it’s boomed and I’ve made some great friends.

  15. We all go through this. Just some of us get it quicker than others, I’m 22 and still sometimes have my doubts about what I really want. It’s all about experimenting and you’ll soon find yourself on the right track 🙂

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