Me & my life | Mental health | Uncategorized

Anxiety: Can you see it from the outside?

November 12, 2016


When I normally open up about my anxiety and how I suffer from it, a lot of people immediately tell me that “You would never guess I had anxiety,” which I guess is a good thing. I don’t want to show that if I’m feeling anxious all the time, and I don’t want it to be something that people define me by.

Sometimes what you see on the outside, isn’t always what is going on in the inside; and I think that’s the same for most mental illnesses. I am relatively quite a happy and positive person. I am quite outgoing and confident because that’s just how my personally is.

But I could seem completely confident, and inside feel like I’m having a panic attack. In fact, I watched a really insightful video about this concept of anxiety the other day which I will link here.

It basically describes that ‘high functioning anxiety’ demonstrates a contrast between what’s going on inside, and what you see on the outside. For example, while it may seem like I am completely calm and as though my anxiety isn’t getting to me at all, I could still be having erratic thoughts of, “You’re not good enough,” “Everyone hates you,” “You should stop talking and shut up” “You’re such a burden.”

When it comes to my anxiety, I try to block out the thoughts and pretend they’re not there, but sometimes that can do more harm than good. Simply pretending they don’t exist is like walking away from a ticking time bomb and knowing that it’s going to explode sooner or later. These thoughts will eventually catch up to me, and the longer that I try to pretend they don’t exist, the worse they normally get in the long run.

That’s why it may seem like I’m all ‘happy and positive’ all the time, when in reality I’m not. Just because I may seem happy, doesn’t mean I’m not feeling anxious. It doesn’t mean that I’m not overthinking the worst, or not on the edge of having a panic attack. The thing about mental illnesses is that it’s in the brain and obviously, what’s going on in there may not always be a reflection of what you see on the outside.

The fact is, you never know what anyone is truly going through. Don’t automatically assume a person is okay just because of how they may seem on the outside. Sometimes I try to hide my anxious moments, but at the same time I want to scream out for help. It’s exhausting, and it’s like it’s a whole act that I need to put on in order to convince myself that it’s not there… when it obviously is.

Sometimes, you’re not able to see what is going on inside my head from my body language on the outside. That’s the scary thing. High functioning anxiety for me sounds like, “You’re not good enough, but you need to act happy and good enough so people don’t hate you AND THEN think you’re not good enough even more.”

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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  1. You’re right, you should never assume you know how someone is feeling. I need to remember this – often I excuse myself from outings and think it over again and again thinking people think I’m wierd, a hermit, and dislike me and I’ll never get anywhere in life, but it’s important to remember that nobody is thinking that! And if they are, they really aren’t worth worrying about anyway!

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  2. I really relate to this because on the outside I come across as extremely optimistic – and I am a generally optimistic person- but at the same time my mind is doing some laps on what about this and that. Great post!!

  3. wow, so bold and courageous of you to talk about your anxiety here. I’m sure it will help many. I know of and knew a few people who had anxiety and a couple who had depression and they said going to a helpcentre called the UCKG really helped them for free. It’s great to have support from centres and people.

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  4. Really good post- it shows the problem with “invisible illnesses”, people can dismiss them because they’re not immediately obvious, but that doesn’t mean they’re not there. Thanks for sharing and good luck with everything!

  5. This is a brilliant post! It’s so great people share about mental illness and their experiences etc… Really does put out a supportive message! I have suffered from anxiety for 7 years now and reading posts like this is a brilliant boost 🙂 XO

  6. Loved this post! Anxiety is terrible! I have at least one anxiety attack a day and I have had to just learn ways to cope with it.
    If I start to feel anxious or start to feel like I’m about to have an anxiety attack around people, I just laugh and try to be funny to take my mind off of it. People around me probably wouldn’t think I am an anxious person just by looking at me.

  7. Great post! I suffer in silence when it comes to my anxiety. I’ve worked on controlling it for years. My days now are much better than before. Thank you so much for this. 😁

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