body positivity | Empowerment | Uncategorized

You're allowed to feel confident

October 19, 2016


Since when was it seen as a bad thing to love your own body? It’s like we frown down on people who aren’t confident by telling them to “lighten up,” and then we say “hold up. You can’t be that confident.” Confidence does not have boundaries, and it shouldn’t be frowned upon.

I can quite comfortably sit here and say I’m comfortable in my own body at the moment. I can sit here and say that it’s taken a long time for me to accept my appearance, but now that I have I feel so incredibly liberated. The thing is, that doesn’t make me ‘self absorbed’ and we should stop using that label in conjunction with confidence.

You’re allowed to sit there and say, “You know what? I look pretty good today.” If you feel confident, flaunt it. Shout about it. Write it. It’s one of them pretty amazing feelings in which it can take a long time to achieve, but when it is achieved, it’s one of the most powerful feelings you can endure.

There is a clear difference between being confident, and being self absorbed.

Confidence: the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something. (Ie being confident and accepting in ones own physical or overall appearance).

Self absorbed: Self absorption is defined as caring only about one’s own self and one’s own activities and not showing interest in the rest of the world.

It’s quite liberating for me to be able to go out now and feel comfortable in what I’m wearing and essentially, how I look but it definitely doesn’t happen over night. One of the key things I had to tell myself when finding my own confidence was that it’s okay if I look unique or don’t fit in with the socially constructed view of ‘beauty.’ I am me. And my appearance is my appearance. Why shame and ridicule me for something I simply cannot change? We were all born unique, so it’s time we all accepted embracement.

I’m not just someone sat behind a computer screen preaching and saying “You should be confident!!” because that’s not how it works. It can’t possibly work like that as soon as someone clicks their fingers. But if you have a day where you feel even a little bit confidence, embrace that. Show the world what you have to offer and take no shame in it.

Confidence and self love is important to me because it helps keep me going. I got to a point where I was beating myself up over my appearance so much that it simply wasn’t healthy. Sometimes it’s beneficial for your own health to sit there and point out even two things you kinda like about yourself. Or two things that makes you, you. I don’t know many other people who are blind in one eye and were born with their stomach inside out like I was. I hate my scar on my stomach, but at the same time… that’s me.

I have no shame in sitting here and declaring my confidence in my own appearance. I’m not saying I’m the prettiest dime in the box, because I’m far from it. But I still value my appearance and accept that I simply am who I am. Whether that’s in my appearance or my personality.

Confidence is healthy and powerful for the mind, and I shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed for being confident. It’s not being big headed, or self absorbed. I deserve to accept my own unique beauty (in whatever shape or form that may come in), just like I accept the beauty of others. Because I’m still human, and I deserve to find confidence just like you do too.

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca

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  1. You go!!! 🙂 Our bodies are meant to be embraced, we’re all unique and different and its wonderful. Feeling good about yourself shouldn’t be deemed as ‘full of it’ but instead admired xx couldn’t agree more xx

  2. Hi Becca!
    You are absolutely right! You are beautiful, strong, and confident and that is way different from being self-absorbed and arrogant. I really enjoyed reading this. I personally struggle with confidence, but your post and confident spirit is so inspiring! <3 Alana

  3. First of all (and I hope this doesn’t sound weird) it’s good to see how happy you’ve been recently! Like I’ve seen some of your tweets lately & they’re all so positive 🙂 Reading about other peoples happiness always makes me happy as well & it wasn’t any different with this post. Like you said learning to be confident & feel good about yourself takes time but it’s an extremely important process. Over the past year I gained a lot of confidence when it comes to my appearance & body image which feels great. Thank you for sharing x

    Sara’sChapters

    1. Wow- thank you so much! I honestly feel like a whole new, and revamped person due to my mindset at the moment, it’s pretty crazy. I’m also so glad to see that you’ve gained so much more confidence- good luck and keep it up lovely! X

  4. Yes girl! It’s so important that we love ourselves even though that may take a while. It’s so annoying that once we do learn to love ourselves or even start to like ourselves it’s seen as shallow and self-absorbed.
    Thank you for this post! It’s important to use every platform to remind people that’s is more than okay to love yourself and be confident!

    Lovely post

  5. YAAAAAAS! Totally agree, I mean at times I am very self conscious but some days I feel more confident and it sucks being judged on both of those occasions – I have no middle ground okay put up with it!

    This literally encompassed how I feel thank you so much for writing such a lovely post xx

    sophieannetaylor.blogspot.co.uk

  6. This was so so lovely to read, I’m so glad you feel you can speak up about this and I’m SO glad that you’re feeling happy and confident with yourself! It isn’t big headed, obnoxious at all, its strong and I’m so happy for you lovey! xx

  7. I feel inspired now! I always want to say that there’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness/self-absorbed but actually I think there’s a clear cut difference! Love the positivity 😍

    Becca | theapresgal.com

  8. We live in a society where they want you to love yourself, but not too much. I think the reason why people are like this is that confident woman intimidate others. Confident woman believe in themselves and won’t let the opinions of others define who they are because they know who they are. I’m not where I want to be with my confidence, but I work on it everyday for it to grow stronger 🙂

    Kathlyn | Kathlyn’s Korner

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