Me & my life | Mental health | Motivation | Uncategorized

It's okay not to be okay

September 14, 2016

We all have experienced points in our life when we’re “not okay.” But do we sometimes pressure ourselves too much sometimes to be okay and not accept that not being okay is totally normal?

As someone who has severe anxiety, both social and general, there are times when I get into really bad and scary states. I get angry at myself for having panic attacks, for nearly throwing up, or for hysterically crying on the floor about things that shouldn’t matter. I get the feeling that everyone is out to judge me and that me not being okay is me not being the person I aim to be which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Of course, I try my hardest to be an overall happy and positive person. If anyone knows me personally, you’ll know that that’s normally the case. In my mind, having ‘bad days’ is me letting myself down- and I’m my own biggest enemy. I judge myself and I pressure myself too much to be okay, without realising that it’s okay not to be okay.

This especially applies to my life and state of mind at the moment. After living my life for the past 2 months in complete happiness, I am slowly beginning to have anxiety attacks regularly again. I have waves of being okay and totally fine, to having panic attacks daily and I’ve noticed that this has been the case with my anxiety for a while.

In some ways, my state of mind is very contradictive at the moment. I’ve reached a stage where I’m confident in myself (especially in my body and appearance- it’s been a long time coming), and in who I want to become. At the same time however, I have been through some of the worst anxiety attacks I’ve ever had at the moment. I beat myself up over this- and blame myself. After all, it’s me who believes that everyone hates me, so how do I get back out of this vicious circle?

The solution? It’s okay not to be okay. It will pass. Let your body and mind have their ‘moments,’ and see past them. I’m a big believer in looking forward, not back, and that’s exactly where I’m heading right now. I have so many amazing things coming up in my life, with my blog; and life in general, and I have to go through the bad points to come out to the good. That’s why it’s okay not to be okay- not only because it’s human nature to not be okay sometimes, but also because not being okay helps make me stronger and more fearless to my anxious thoughts.

This is a message to all of you reading this right now: no one expects you to be happy all the time. You could be the happiest, bubbly, most positive person going and still have ‘off days.’ Trust me, it’s okay not to be okay sometimes. That’s what makes you most alive.

lil extra note: It would be very humbling to me if you could nominate me for a Cosmopolitan Influencers Award in the category Best Newcomer here. Here are also all the details you’ll need:

Thank you! xo

Love and happiness always,

xo, Becca


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  1. I love the message in this post. I think it is so important to admit when we’re not ok, and appreciate that bad days happen. For two freasons. The first is a cliche but it’s true, you can only appreciate the good when you’ve experienced the bad. And the second, which I nthink is really important for our overall mental health, is that we can’t begin to solve the problems we might be facing, if we don’t take the time to acknowledge and understand them.

    My anxiety has been really bad for most of this year, because I have sat with a baseline of stress for the past 8 months or so. But I didn’t realise that stress was there (because that had become my new normal) until my anxiety got worse. In some ways, while it might not feel like it, my anxiety is actually trying to look out for me. It was a warning, that maybe I wasn’t as ok as I thought, and in a weird way I’m glad it flared up to tell me that.

    Sorry I got a bit rambly there! Stephie xx

  2. I totally agree with this and I feel like in the UK the expectation can be to have a ‘stiff upper lip’ and not let on when your feeling a bit down. No one can be happy all the time. You write it very well, so inspiring. Thanks lovely x

  3. I totally agree with this! It can be so hard to just bottle things up, and it can just add to it. Accepting our pain and being okay with it is a building block to recovery!
    Beautiful post lovely! x

  4. Fab post & so relatable, I often get annoyed with myself for not being okay when really you’re not helping yourself but just making things worse!
    Great read.
    Charlotte xx

  5. I love posts like these. For me, I feel that posts that remind people that it’s okay to not be okay is so much more powerful, positive, and benefical than just telling someone that everything will be okay. It’s so much more realistic and humbling, in my opinion, so reading this post really made me happy.

    ●ω● | mchi. //

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