Relationships. They’re something which everyone goes through day to day. Whether it’s friendships, or romantic relationships, it’s human nature to have certain committed bonds to each other.
But what actually is a relationship? We spend our lives having a socially constructed idealistic view of what we should expect in a relationship. Materialistic things. The male being the “prince” and the female being the “damsel in distress.” (According to traditional views in which I reject totally may I add). But people still expect these things in a relationship. They still expect the “Hollywood love” that they’re exposed to in the media, in films, on TV daily. Is that really what a relationship is?
Personally, I believe a relationship should be about care, and trust, and communication and love. That’s all. But relationships are so complicated. Society basically tells us what we should, and shouldn’t do. Have you ever been too scared to message “the boy” first because “the girl” isn’t expected to message first? It’s pathetic. Who makes the first move? Who should buy who presents? Who should “wear the pants” in the relationship? I feel like there’s so many constrains on what we should expect and be like in relationships and when it comes down to it, who cares? Relationships are natural, and shouldn’t have to be as complicated as they are. Sure, there are times when these expectations are broken, but they still float about in society and it still constrains us even if we’re blind to it.
And then there’s break ups. As someone who’s recently gone through her first break up, and argueably “heartbreak,” I find break ups have the most “rules” when it comes to what to do. Ever been told an ex is an ex for a reason? Ever been told what you should and shouldn’t do in a break up? The whole “you have to hate your ex” / “your ex is your enemy” view is ridiculous. As someone who also recently went back to an ex, I was ridiculed and practically shamed for it. I got given such a hard time, for what? For my own relationship? For the way I deal with things. For the what I feel is right. Top and tail of it, break ups and relationships ending hurt, and I wish some people would stop expecting for everyone to be happy when they break from the pattern which once made them happy.
To conclude this rather deep post about expectations within the whole concept of a relationship, I would like to conclude that we should just let people live their lives how they want. There’s a difference between being there for someone, and degrading their feelings on a certain situation. Relationships are all around us, and you shouldn’t be scared of sealing your own or making new ones. Don’t make life more complicated than it has to be, and live your life for you only. At the end of the day, it’s relationships with other humans which help shape us into who we are. Never take them for granted. Hold the people you love close to you, and cherish every moment you have with them. Have no regrets. The thing with relationships is that you’ll never stop learning. You’ll never stop realising what’s the right or wrong thing to do in a relationship, and it helps you grow. Relationships begin, and relationships end. That’s the beauty of life in a way- it opens new doors and you never know what’s around the corner. I’m a strong believer in working hard in a relationship, in caring for others and putting others first. A relationship should be a partnership of support between every individual involved in it.
Be happy, always. No matter how hard things may seem at this moment in time.
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